Hi my dearest readers,
It's been one year and well, I'm gonna be 22 in almost a few hours. I just don't imagine time has flies so fast. I still remember the time I graduated from high school, searched the right university which I regreted so much not to be able to get as much information as I could, and finally entered the univerity life.
There were so many things happened during that short period of time. At first, I was very depressed not to be able to enter National University of Singapore (NUS) and Nanyang Technological University (NTU), but then thinking back, if I joined NUS/NTU, maybe at this time I am still struggling with the University Life and around this time I were going to graduate from university life. But then, in reality, I have now worked for almost 2 years and I was able to get into the working environment, being an adult in the career world.
I am also not sure whether I was able to get so many good friends like I do right now if I joined NTU/NUS. Although we have graduated, but our bonding is still going strong. Such as, I got a line message today from Andrean, one of my buddies in my uni life. He said Happy Birthday and success all the way for me. It suddenly touched my heart that he still keeps my name in the b-day reminder. That's what I have been thanking God for giving me lots of friends in another way, even better that what I expected.
Working life as an external auditor everyday is kinda, well....overwhelming. It's hectic but I like the job, I love how I can learn as much as I want. Getting those opportunities to challenge myself. Even though I like my job, it just feel that something is not right for me. I really feel tired when it comes to the super-called peak-season and not going home is something I really want to avoid but I can't escape from that. Actually it's okay if it's only for 2-3 days and finished. But that's not the case, cos it last more than 2 weeks long to go home at 7am in the next morning and come back to work at 12am. It felt like I am dying seriously. I don't have that so-called social life except socializing with my colleagues at work during those 4 months.
I dunno why, suddenly tears keep coming up. I know this is not something very terrible right?
But I do feel, if just I got a chance to turn back the time. Truthfully, I don't even know whether if I make another turn, my life would be the same like now or not. But that's gambling.
I do...agree that my pride is very high. Last time, the three of us applied at the same company but I didn't make it and only one of us got accepted in that 'Company', easily when everybody is trying to get a job. If hard work is paid off, where is that? How could I believe that when I tried hard every time but everything just doesn't work as I want?
Again, at work there are ups and downs. After one year, I finally got promoted and going through the harsh environment of being a so called professional yet we do not get paid off as much as people imagine for being a consultant. It was like hell not to be able to meet Kim and my other friends, not having to enjoy my life and go home as I want. I thought, no....everyone thought that I would be appreciated and got promoted again after 5 months in the interim promotion. But that sucks. Whatever it is, when the Company doesn't get you promoted, that means they are ready to lose you. I got a discussion with the boss and maybe what she said is right. I do happy with the pay raise. But I still do get hurt from the promotion announcement. What I thought last time was like, did you never see the hard work I gave to the Company?
Another chance keeps coming up. This time, is for the mobility program to go exchange to Singapore/Malaysia. The HRD keep bothering me to apply when I told her that I am still under the primary requirements. I know I couldn't make it but I still do hope for some miracles to happen and dang, I don't get the chance cos they said at least you are in the Senior level.
My heart feels like break into pieces. How could in just a few weeks, every little things seem to disappoint me more than anything else in the world?
I do ask God what I should do, where I should go and what His plan for me.....
The last year is not my year. Nothing has changed but for sure, I know I am stronger than before.
I won't give up for such that small obstacles and by giving it a try, at least there is 50% chance to make it.
"If you don't succeed at first, try, try, and try again." - Calvin Chen
Does your life always go as you want it to be?
I do want a job, while liking the job I do, I could have fun doing it.
But the pressure... the not so flexible working hour...and the not being appreciated by the Company puts me down everytime. I do want to leave, but when I leave, I let go my future to be vanished. I just don't want to do that. So, what I could do is to slowly go through that and let God show me the path.
In the last day of 22, I just want to bury those painful memories deep down in my heart and I will remember it to make me even stronger than before cos I already made decision to never give up.
I still believe that maybe one day I realize those painful memories made me up till now and it creates me to a better path beyond my imagination and my wish in the early place.
I wanna put what my goals for the next one year:
#getpromotion for the year 2015
#getajob - a job that I like and I could have fun while working
#getabf - boyfriend *where are youuuu*
#mom&dad - seeing my mom and dadn proud of me
#travelling - europe, us, korea and japan I wish one of those will be my next destination
#openbusiness - I wish my business will go smoothly and I could make it big
#felixgoestoUnilever - mysuper the most wanting thing right now!!!
So, everyone, whenever you get some difficulties in you life, be cheerful. Strive again to work hard, go out from your comfort zone. Because, when we strive hard, everything around us will become better.
"When we love, we always strive to become better than we are. When we strive to become better than we are, everything around us becomes better too." - Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist
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