MRT & Penyelidikan Kanonik

Sebelumnya, saya membuat tulisan ini, untuk membantu teman-teman yang ingin menikah secara Katolik, sehingga step-by-step dalam mengurus pendaftaran pernikahan secara Katolik menjadi lebih terarah dan lebih mudah. 

Pertama, pastinya harus sudah menentukan tanggal pernikahan. Mengapa? Karena untuk booking Gereja, diperlukan tanggal pasti. Mengingat pernikahan di Indonesia ini cukup ramai, ada baiknnya mengecek ke Gereja apakah tanggal pernikahan tersebut masih available/tidak dan apakah sudah bisa di booking. 

Kedua, jika tanggal pernikahan sudah pasti, book administrasi Gereja dimana tempat kalian akan melangsungkan pernikahan & membayar biaya minimal untuk pemberkatan pernikahan. Biasanya, pernikahan dapat dilangsungkan di salah satu Paroki pihak cowok ataupun cewek. Apabila pernikahan dilakukan di Paroki yang berbeda, setau saya, biasanya akan ada pelimpahan pemberkatan ke Paroki yang ditunjuk. Namun, administrasi tetap harus dilakukan di Paroki asal. Dokumen-dokumen bisa dilengkapi menyusul setelah MRT dilakukan. 

Jika kedua step ini sudah dilakukan, selanjutnya mari kita mulai dari yang mudah terlebih dahulu. Seluruh proses dibawah ini, hanya dapat dilakukan maksimal 6 (enam) bulan sebelum hari pernikahan. Misalkan, tanggal pernikahan adalah 31 Juli, maka proses dibawah ini paling cepat dilakukan pada 31 Januari. Mengapa demikian? Karena proses ini menjadi syarat di Gereja dan hanya dapat dilakukan dalam jangka waktu tersebut. 

1. Book jadwal Kursus Persiapan Pernikahan atau disebut juga Membangun Rumah Tangga ("MRT") 

Jadwal MRT setiap tahunnya akan terupdate pada website Keuskupan Agung Jakarta ataupun pada instagram KAJ. Biasanya jadwal tersebut akan di post pada akhir tahun, untuk jadwal 1 tahun kedepan. Selain itu, kalian juga bisa menanyakan ke Sekretariat Paroki masing-masing kapan jadwal MRT ada di Paroki tersebut. Sebagai informasi, MRT tidak harus dilakukan pada Paroki asal, bisa dilakukan di Paroki manapun (ada Offline/Online).

Sebelum mendaftar, sebaiknya ditanyakan ke Panitia MRT tersebut apakah kuota MRT masih ada dan sebutkan rencana tanggal pernikahan kalian dan apakah dapat mengikuti MRT sesuai dengan jadwal Paroki tersebut. Konfirmasikan dengan Panitia MRT apakah kalian dapat mengikuti MRT tersebut (maksimal 6 bulan sebelum hari pernikahan). Contoh: apabila kalian akan menikah pada 31 October, maka MRT paling cepat dilakukan pada 30 April. Jika sudah, maka lengkapi dokumen-dokumen yang disyaratkan untuk MRT. 

Important Note: MRT diwajibkan dilakukan dalam 1 tempat, secara berpasangan. Jika online, tetap harus dalam 1 frame yang sama/1 tempat. Tidak boleh berbeda tempat. Kelas MRT biasanya berlangsung 2/3 hari (tergantung masing-masing Paroki) dengan durasi 1 hari full

(8 pagi - 5/6 sore)

Kenapa sih harus berada di 1 tempat yang sama? Soalnya di MRT itu akan ada beberapa pertanyaan yang mengharuskan kalian untuk berdiskusi dengan pasangan masing-masing, sehingga dengan berada pada 1 tempat, diskusi menjadi lebih terarah dan dapat saling memahami masing-masing. 

MRT ini juga tidak mewajibkan kedua pasangan adalah Katolik. Apabila salah satu ada yang berbeda agama, juga bisa ikut MRT ini. Namun, terkait dengan perbedaan agama - ini akan dikupas lebih jauh pada topik MRT, salah satu contohnya, bagaimana pendidikan anak kemudian, nah itu perlu dibicarakan masing2 pasangan ya. FYI, materi dalam MRT ini akan dibawakan dalam tata cara dan hukum Gereja Katolik. Materi dari kursus tersebut seputar tentang pengenalan diri, ekonomi, sex, kehidupan berkeluarga, dan perencanaan masa depan.

Dokumen-dokumen (masing-masing Paroki bisa ada penyesuaian) - bisa berupa fotokopi/scan:

• Surat Baptis - jika Katolik/Kristen (surat baptis disini tidak perlu yang telah diperbaharui)
• KTP masing-masing peserta  
• Foto Sendiri atau Foto Berdampingan 4x6 (ini akan ditempel pada Sertifikat MRT) - lihat ketentuan masing2 paroki. Ada yang minta foto berdampingan dengan background merah. Ada juga paroki yang minta foto berdampingan tanpa ketentuan background. Tanyakan ke Panitia MRT ya. Jika diminta foto sendiri, artinya setelah pendaftaran MRT, Panitia akan meminta pasangan untuk foto berdampingan sebelum MRT dimulai dan Panitia MRT yang akan print foto tersebut untuk ditempelkan pada Sertifikat MRT.
• Surat Domisili/Keterangan Domisili apabila peserta berasal dari luar Paroki tempat MRT (asli)

Selain itu, wajib membayar biaya MRT - biasa kisaran Rp 200.000 - Rp 500.000/pasangan tergantung masing-masing Paroki. Setelah dikonfirmasi oleh Panitia MRT, maka jadwal MRT tersebut wajib diikuti selama 2 hari full. Panitia MRT akan mengirimkan buku MRT/peserta mengambil buku MRT ke Paroki sebelum acara MRT dilakukan. 

Seluruh pertanyaan dalam buku MRT wajib diisi, karena Romo Paroki akan mengecek sebelum sertifikat telah melakukan MRT dikeluarkan. Btw, pertanyaan pada buku MRT itu bagus banget kok, karena membantu kita untuk mempersiapkan kehidupan perkawinan - bagaimana ekspektasi kita dalam hidup perkawinan, tanggung jawab dalam hidup perkawinan, bagaimana tata cara liturgi pemberkatan dalam perkawinan Katolik, serta mengupas karakter dan prinsip hidup masing-masing. Enjoy!

2. Dapatkan Sertifikat MRT setelah melakukan kursus MRT

Segera, setelah MRT dilakukan, dapatkan sertifikat MRT yang sudah ditanda tangani oleh Romo. Fotokopi Sertifikat MRT tersebut, karena sertifikat ini yang menjadi dasar dokumen pendaftaran perkawinan. 

3. Lengkapi syarat-syarat pendaftaran pernikahan

Apa itu "Penyelidikan Kanonik"? Ibarat kata bagi agama Katolik, buat yang mau menikah di gereja, bakalan di-interview untuk pertama dan terakhir kali nya, oleh Pastor yang berwenang, agar sakramen perkawinan yang diberikan sifat nya sah. Penyelidikan kanonik dilaksanakan selambat-lambatnya 2 (dua) bulan sebelum pelaksanaan perkawinan dengan syarat membawa semua dokumen-dokumen yang disyaratkan oleh Paroki. 

Jangan takut dengan kata penyelidikan, karena ini hanya berupa wawancara dengan pastor/romo mengenai kesiapan kedua calon pengantin untuk memasuki tahap pernikahan yang sesungguhnya. Biasanya sang pastor/romo akan bertanya mengenai kesiapan batin dan mental masing-masing pasangan dalam memasuki kehidupan rumah tangga.

Sebagai informasi, pendaftaran pernikahan dan penyelidikan kanonik biasanya dilakukan di Paroki calon pengantin wanita. Jika kedua pasangan Katolik dan apabila pemberkatan pernikahan dilakukan di Paroki calon pengantin pria, maka tidak menjadi masalah. Yang pasti pendafataran pertama kali dan penyelidikan kanonik wajib diserahkan kepada Paroki calon pengantin wanita. Jika nanti sudah selesai penyelidikan kanonik, maka dari Paroki perempuan akan memberikan surat pelimpahan dan keterangan bahwa kanonik telah dilangsungkan dan pemberkatan akan dilakukan pada Paroki calon pengantin pria.  Akan tetapi jika kedua mempelai ingin diberkati di Gereja yang bukan asal dari masing-masing, maka dibutuhkan surat pengantar dari Kepala Pastor Paroki setempat agar bisa “numpang” nikah di gereja yang dipilih. 

Apabila pernikahan berbeda agama, maka penyelidikan kanonik bisa dilakukan di Paroki calon pasangan yang beragama Katolik. 

Syarat-syarat pendafataran pernikahan dan penyelidikan kanonik:

1. Surat Baptis yang diperbaharui (6 bln terakhir) untuk masing-masing pasangan. Jika Baptis dilakukan di Paroki yang berbeda, maka minta ke Sekretariat tempat kamu dibaptis pertama kali. Surat Baptis terupdate akan diterbitkan dengan menyatakan status LIBER/tidak. LIBER artinya bebas (belum pernah menikah). 
2. Fotokopi KTP masing-masing. Jika yang beragama lain selain Katolik, perlu melampirkan fotokopi KTP 2 orang saksi  yang menyatakan kebenaran belum menikah. 
3. Fotokopi Kartu Keluarga Gereja Katolik untuk masing-masing pasangan. 
4. Surat Pengantar dari Ketua Lingkungan untuk masing-masing pasangan. 
5. Surat Pengantar dari Paroki jika dari luar Paroki (untuk calon pengantin pria) - yang dimaksud adalah surat keterangan domisili sih... cuma bahasanya aja bikin bingung ya. 
6. Fotokopi Sertifikat Membangun Rumah Tangga
7. Foto 4x6 berdampingan, latar belakang merah sebanyak 4 lembar (dikonfirmasi ke masing2 Paroki)
8. Formulir Pendaftaran Perkawinan (dimintakan ke Sekretariat Paroki)
9. Formulir identitas saksi upacara perkawinan (dimintakan ke Sekretariat Paroki). Saksi disini wajib pasangan suami istri yang beragama Katolik dan sudah menikah secara Katolik, serta telah menerima Sakramen Inisiasi (Baptis, Komuni dan Krisma/Penguatan)
10. Fotokopi KTP Saksi 
11. Fotokopi Surat Perkawinan Saksi (Gereja & Sipil)

4. Penyelidikan Kanonik

Menyerahkan dokumen-dokumen pendaftaran Gereja ke Sekretariat Paroki dan menunggu jadwal Kanonik dengan Romo. Jika jadwal Kanonik dengan Romo sudah ada, maka persiapkan hati dan datanglah berdua bersama dengan pasangan pada waktu yang ditentukan. 

Untuk kamu yang memiliki pasangan non-Katolik, kamu harus menyediakan 2 saksi pada saat penyelidikan Kanonik. Saksi tersebut harus benar-benar mengenal calon pengantin non-Katolik agar bisa menjelaskan bahwa orang tersebut belum pernah menikah dan tidak sedang terkena halangan menikah atau halangan-halangan pernikahan lainnya.

Nah pertanyaan apa aja sih yang ditanyakan saat penyelidikan kanonik dan berapa lama? 

Sejujurnya, yang saya baca2 di internet sih pada bilang cuma kayak ngobrol2 doang kok, paling lama juga 15 menit. Tapi semua itu bohong. Hahaha. Gak deh, bercanda, mungkin tergantung masing-masing Paroki ya. Ada yang lama, mungkin ngobrolnya keasikan, ada yang sebentar. Tidak ada batasan waktu yang pasti sih pastinya.

Pada case kami, Kanonik dibagi menjadi 3 tahap; interview Romo dengan calon pengantin priam interview Romo dengan calon pengantin wanita, dan interview Romo bersama kedua calon pengantin. Kebetulan, pasangan saya memerlukan waktu sekitar 1 jam untuk proses Kanonik. Apa saja yang ditanya? Sebelum interview dimulai, Romo akan meminta kita bersumpah dengan tangan kanan diatas Alkitab, bahwa seluruh jawaban adalah jawaban yang jujur. Pertanyaan masing-masing mungkin akan berbeda, tapi intinya sama seharusnya. Tujuannya untuk mengetahui pendapat masing-masing pasangan, apakah sudah benar-benar yakin sekaligus Romo akan cross check jawaban masing-masing.

• Pertanyaan General (Nama, Lahir, Umur) - untuk memastikan bahwa orang yang di interview memang adalah orang yang tepat 
• Apakah sudah pernah menikah sebelumnya?
• Apakah pernah berhubungan seksual sebelum pernikahan?
• Apakah memiliki hubungan darah? 
• Sudah berapa lama kenal dengan calon? Kenal dimana dengan calon?
• Apakah hal yang kamu kuatirkan dengan calon?
• Apakah kamu sudah yakin dan menyanggupi untuk menikah dengan calon yang ini?
• Apa sih ciri-ciri perkawinan Katolik?
• Apa saja modal kamu untuk tetap setia dan bertahan pada perkawinan Katolik?
• Tujuan dari perkawinan itu apa? 

Sisanya lebih ke arah perkawinan secara katolik itu dinyatakan sah apabila ada syarat-syarat apa saja. Selain itu Romo lebih mengajak dan menekankan pentingnya keterbukaan dalam keluarga, khususnya dengan anak, apabila sudah ada anak, wajib membuat rumah yang nyaman, dimana anak bisa dekat dengan orang tuanya. Ini sih yang paling saya ingat, karena Romo bercerita, saat ini banyak orang tua yang kewalahan dengan anaknya. 

Endingnya, saya disuruh tanda tangan di berkas pemeriksaan kanonik saya, dokumen yang ga boleh dibuka oleh siapapun juga, dan itu super-super top secret. Soal cocok-nggak-nya pasangan yang mau nikah, Gereja sendiri tidak akan menyelidiki begitu detail. Paling hanya ditambahkan ke berkas sebagai notes saja yang akan dibaca oleh Romo yang akan memberikan sakramen pernikahan. Pada intinya, perjuangan untuk bisa menikah di Gereja Katolik sudah super duper panjang, yang mana membuat orang yang mau nikah pasti akan mikir 100x untuk nikah kali kedua.

Jika Romo sudah memberikan approval bahwa pemberkatan pernikahan dapat dilakukan, tugas kalian selanjutnya yaitu, membuat Buku Liturgi Perkawinan.

5. Membuat Buku Liturgi Perkawinan

Teks Liturgi Perkawinan dapat diminta ke Sekretariat Gereja/Paroki dimana pemberkatan akan dilangsungkan. Dokumen penyelidikan kanonik tersebut juga akan dikirimkan ke Gereja tempat kalian akan menikah disertai surat pengantar bahwa penyelidikan kanonik telah dilangsungkan, apabila kalian menikah bukan di Paroki asal. 

Untuk teks liturgi, saran saya, wajib bertemu & berkonsultasi dengan Romo yang akan memberkati.

Kalian juga harus mempersiapkan pilihan bacaan liturgi, bacaan injil, serta lagu koor.

Jika sudah fix, buku liturgi dapat difinalisasi untuk dicetak. 

6. Terakhir, tentukan petugas Liturgi Gereja: Lektris, Doa Umat, Petugas Koor

Biasanya akan ada gladi bersih dari Gereja 1-2 hari sebelum pemberkatan pernikahan, dimana Calon Pengantin, Orang Tua, Saksi dan petugas liturgi diwajibkan hadir untuk dapat melakukan gladi bersih. 

Demikian tata cara pernikahan secara Katolik. Semoga teman-teman yang sedang mempersiapkan pernikahan dapat terbantu dengan informasi ini. 

WE DID IT TOGETHER!

It took quite a while to remember all the happy days during the past three years together - while the hurtful moments stays vividly for quite some time. We always focuses more on memories that left a big impact on us. If I could go back in time, maybe I would tell myself not to focus on the hurtful things instead on my attitude towards positive view. 

That relationship is my first one ever. I, who had past traumas of being ghosted many times had made a hole in my self-esteem, produced insecurity either physically or mentally, and had trust issue. I never learn how to be vulnerable, to be open and to say my opinions too. I am always afraid of being judged not good enough, not cheerful enough, not lovable enough, not enjoyable enough, not beautiful enough, not sexy enough, and afraid of being left off without any explanation. 

I spent many years on self-love, trying to give myself a break, to care for my own needs and to know what's best for myself. I become the best version of me. I give vibes on who I am when I first met that person. It didn't take a while for us to date each other seriously. I know, from the first time, he is always serious with me and like me for who I really am - and that's what I am always grateful for, for his straight-forward attitude, being open and true, having vision on our relationship. 

Along the way, I caught up with comparison disease. Always comparing my relationship with what I see on social media. I always thought that's the indication of normal and that's what it should be - never more, never less. However, my boyfriend is not a romantic kind of guy. He is cool, never compliment me, but always stay true to what he means to say. It took me quite a while to get used to it - of course, there were times when I made a complaint why he never bought me flowers, compliment how I dress or being romantic for once. But, that's him. Whatever how many times I make complaint, he's always him, never change. To be honest, when I am sane enough, I prefer a guy who is more of an actionable kind of guy, rather than a guy with only sweet words. I am not an influencer and I do not have any obligation to show the world how in love my boyfriend with me. There are things that is best to keep private. 

Sometimes, when my period came, I became more sensitive and emotional. There were times I do not love myself and thought about what I lack as a person. It stirred my insecurity, moreover when my boyfriend never compliments me, it took a big toll on me, specially on my insecurity, whether I am good enough, whether my boyfriend really love me, whether he is serious with me. However, my boyfriend never compares me and still love me specially on time when I do not love and even understand myself. Thanks, honey. 

Perhaps some people would be similar to me as in, while being in a relationship, I do not make room nor chance for a break-up (which in fact what I am afraid the most). I always want to strive my best in everything. I want everything to workout. But during the first 6 months of relationship, we didn't know what could happen right? It is not under our control, but as I am a control-freak, I wanted to make sure every bits of our relationship could last and move to the next level. With my idealism, I caught up with what I always thought it should be and didn't make room for other options. It was hard for me to deal with my idealism at that time - until finally I learnt it the hard way. I knew I was too naïve for wanting something according to my idealistic view. Besides, I am also prone to overthink. Once overthinking strikes, my brain could make a lot of possible stories which induced what I am afraid of. Overthinking kills your happiness. 

After many, many, and many arguments and reconciliation, I become a better person right now. I went through trauma healing as well getting to know myself even better. The most important thing I guess is communication. Deep communication between the couple to let their opinions out. I learnt not to assume and let my imagination run wild. I learnt to put myself in his shoes. I learnt to manage my expectation and see the bright sight in everything. I learnt to put a stop on my overthinking self and see the present situation now. My boyfriend also learnt something, to always communicate clearly what he wants too. That way, no matter how many challenges come to us, we are always hand-in-hand together. Nothing beats us, nothing affects us. With many challenges and along with the time, our feeling and trust grows. We become each other's best supporter and company. 

Right after 2 years after our relationship, he proposed to me officially. Actually, after 6 months of dating, we talked about getting married, how much we should prepare for it and within how long we could afford it. In the first place, we talk about 3 years duration as we could not afford to pay for a grand wedding. Yet, I proposed to hold an intimate wedding in 2 years duration, rather than waiting for millions, yet the wedding price slowly increases year by year. Sadly, pandemic hits us hard - no wedding celebration was allowed and we are still unsure as to when the pandemic will end. No one can be sure of it. If we postponed the wedding until the situation gets better, we lost a lot of time too. We knew time is precious, as our age also increases, our parents too. It's better to go forward with the wedding instead of waiting for something we don't know, while everyone is here as well. Thus, with a lot of discussion, we decided to get married. 

The journey may not be easy, like you just go to the civil registration to get your marriage be done there. We need religious blessing, specially Catholic Blessing, there were some criteria to be done. Besides, we both were looking for a place to stay. 

Started off from looking for a place to live after getting married - we filtered out area in Jakarta and decided to choose between 2 areas, near his house of mine. Mine is not in cluster area, thus more of a traditional residential area. Maybe the girls are like me - I do not want to live too far from my current home, so that I can see my parents once in a while. But the land price near my home is surprisingly expensive - while there were no facilities around the area. 

The story of looking for a place to stay had a little bit of drama. At that time, we do not have enough money for down payment, which make it impossible to get married and also have a house. So I suggested to live with our parents first. If his home could not afford one more person, then we could live in my parent's home. But as his principle is different than mine, he strived on looking for a place. Meanwhile, I almost gave up and couldn't handle the situation well. I questioned why we have to live near his home, but not mine. Even though, I am aware of the logic behind it, but the explanation was not satisfying because at that time, I wanted to be appreciated and my opinion to be taken into account. I do not mind actually if I need to live near his home. Not because his home are there, but the area itself is more convenient with facilities nearby. It took us quite a while before we reached an agreement and found a suitable place for us to live. Thank God, we found a good one, good place, good deal and good price. 

The next ordeal is to decide the venue and most of the Chinese tradition. I thought by meetings two families, the official proposal from the family would be there. But again, learn to control my expectation. When two families met, they just got to know each other without saying the intention of the meeting, which of course made us very confused. We decided to make every process a bit more simple by not having Sangjit/Engagement ceremony. But due to lack of communication between me, my boyfriend and his family, there were misunderstanding along the way. By then, we knew, the problem was mostly because of communication - how we tell our parents and how we connect the two families into one. That's the real challenge because each families may have their own traditions and expectations. Both of our parents actually do not have much opinion on the wedding itself. They both let us handle it the way we want - what takes more effort is about the first meeting between families and how we should introduce both families. Should we hold onto traditions or just let it go. But we just follow what parents want if that is about traditions. After that, we decided the venue after so much consideration while thinking what WE really wants. 

To reach the goal, the journey may not be easy, specially for Catholic Holy Matrimony, as I need to take catechumen to study about Catholic for 8-9 months before getting baptized. That one took a period from April 2021 till January 2022. I, who never know the process, had to call each Church to ask for the schedule. Some of them are closed but I finally found one. After that, to process our religious blessing ceremony, we need to book a Church for our holy matrimony blessing. But the process does not end there - we need to apply for marriage class program or we call it "Membangun Rumah Tangga (MRT)" at the maximum 6 months before the wedding date. We wanted to finish our wedding planning, yet for Church administration can only be done from 6 months towards the big day. How crazy it was, while we have a lot to handle. 

The MRT class was for 2 full days from morning till evening. After that, we need to file for administration purposes for marriage to the Church by submitting several documentation. That documentation has to go through several steps, from updated baptized certificate, until statement letter from the neighborhood's leader. After the Church received the file, they will book a date for Canonic with a priest. Canonic is like an investigation by the priest, whether we can be blessed for Catholic marriage or not. The priest will ask question regarding the couple and each had to answer honestly. Long process, right? But yeah, we did it TOGETHER and we get the approval to get married. 

To be honest, during that long process and wedding preparation, there were times that I get so stress - what's stressful is how to blend two families into one. Marriage is not only about the union of two people, but also union of two families. When I look back, maybe because I thought long already and wanted to get things done, but the family hasn't even thought about it. So, that's why communication is really important during wedding preparation, I believe.  We have our own expectation but also our parents. I learnt how to communicate what I want and manage my parents expectation as well. 

There will be times when things are complicated, because both of us manage a lot of things during wedding preparation. Besides in our case, we also manage house renovation, while we both do not understand one bit about construction, thus we learn something new as well. We had our own works, yet have to organize many things, of course there will be some stressful moment. I guess, what my friend said is true - there will be moments when you guys lack of quality time together, had arguments on wedding preparation, or extreme case, even about postponing the wedding reception. All of that could happen, but remember what's important is that you want to get married to your soulmate and spend the rest of your life with him/her. And that's the most important one. Instead of focusing on arguments, it's better to enjoy the moment because it's once in a lifetime experience on wedding preparation. Try to find a time for quality time and talk things heart to heart. 

It's happening! Hopefully the wedding will go smoothly, Amen.  

Cheers~

Twenty Five Twenty-One: The Best Korean Drama 2022

Twenty-Five Twenty-One (Korean: 스물다섯 스물하나; RR: Seumuldaseot Seumulhana) is a 2022 South Korean television series directed by Jung Ji-hyun and starring Kim Tae Ri, Nam Joo Hyuk, Bona, Choi Hyun Wook and Lee Joo Myung. The series depicts the romantic lives of five characters spanning from the year of 1998 to 2021.

In 1998, Na Hee Do (played by Kim Tae Ri) is a member of the school fencing team at Seonjung Girls' High School, but due to the IMF crisis, the team is disbanded. To continue pursuing her passion, she transfers to Taeyang High School and later manages to become a member of the National Fencing Team. Baek Yi Jin’s (played by Nam Joo-hyuk) family goes from "riches to rags" and are separated due to the financial crisis. He is forced to take up several part-time jobs and later becomes a sports reporter. In time when dreams seem out of reach, a teen fencer pursues big ambitions and meets a hardworking young man who seeks to rebuild his life. At ages 22 and 18, they say each other's names for the first time, and at ages 25 and 21, they fall in love.

What surprisingly good about this drama, is not only about romantic lives of the young teenagers. The story begins when Na Hee Do Na, a once-fencing prodigy, struggles to prove to herself and others that she can reach her full potential after her school’s fencing team disbanded due to the 1997 Asian financial crisis. After Na’s mother and coach urge her to quit fencing, Na embarks on a journey to prove them wrong. The story follows a naive and determined Na as she does everything in her power to become the rival of  Ko Yu Rim (played by Bona), a South Korean gold medalist champion. Na’s younger mentality is showcased when she goes as far as doing illegal activities to get expelled from school so she can transfer to the school Ko attends. Her reckless actions are the core of why she has failed in fencing for so many years. 

Na’s love interest, Baek, also suffered from the financial crisis after his father’s business went bankrupt, leaving him to fend for himself. He secures a job delivering newspapers for his town, where he meets Na for the first time. Baek is also very young and comes off as cold and a killjoy, but unlike Na, he is an over-thinker who believes his mission is to work hard to rebuild his family’s reputation. 

On the surface, the plot of this drama is a love story between Na and Baek, who always seem to run into each other. The two can’t stand each other at the beginning of their relationship as Na is still very young and reckless, however, Baek, who was forced to grow up quickly and carry his family’s burden, becomes drawn to Na’s careless attitude. But actually this drama tells more than just a love story. It tells us about hardships, finding motivation despite how the situation throws us, friendship, family and growth. During the story, Na always tries her best to do everything she could to pursue her dreams and as she progressed gradually one by one, she gets more matured and wins many gold medal as an athlete. She also gets to compete with Ko Yu Rim, her long-time rivals which turns to be her best friend later on. 

It’s a refreshing take on a youthful love story too if we think from the romantic perspective. But this drama doesn’t aim for a picture-perfect ending between both protagonists like other Korean dramas often do. Instead, it centers on the characters’ coming of age. Because the series jumps between the present and the past, viewers get the sense from the beginning that Na and Baek do not end up together. With this in mind, it helps the story dive further into the development of Na and Baek’s relationship. Instead of focusing on a happy ending, it prepares the audience for a heartbreaking, yet realistic end, reminding us that some relationships are not meant to last forever.  The couple hit their breaking points after Baek scored a job as a reporter. In the beginning, he is naive and tries to make things work with Na, but he soon faces an ethical dilemma as a reporter dating a professional athlete. Still, as the couple tries to make it work, they are warned plenty of times that Baek’s career will cause the fall of their relationship. 

Throughout the relationship, there is a lot of growth from both protagonists. Na matures enough to reach her ultimate goal of winning more than one victory against her fencing idol. Baek hits a turning point in his career when he is sent out to New York City to cover the 9/11 attacks. Eventually, he is offered the news anchor position that Na’s mother once held. We also see how the communication in family is important as Na finally reconciled with her mother too.  

I really like this kind of story, whereby there are many meaningful reminders: 

1. Pursue Our Dreams 

This story tells us how important it is to have grit and perseverance in pursuing our dreams even though dreams seem out of reach. What we call passion starts from what activity you find fun to do it. This story doesn't always tell about pursuing our dreams, because I remember an athlete who tried to quit fencing because she doesn't find it fun anymore. She wants to quit fencing and learn how to bake - which eventually it resonates with me how someone's passion may not always be the same. We could always find our passion in everything we do, yet before deciding to do it, we should always have grit and perseverance on what we really want to try and try our best to do it, not half-heartedly. 

2. Life Lesson

With the situation throws at the couple, we learn that life can not always go as what we expect. If we lose and getting disappointed, we can try to laugh at our tragedy, so that we can forget and move forward. That's the lesson I learnt during the whole story.

Besides, growth doesn't go significantly, instead it goes like a stair - there will be steady growth and at one point, the growth will increase and you will finally reach the top. 

I hope a lot of K-drama will have more stories like this. 

Cheers

Closing 2021 with Faith and Hope

Thinking back on what has happened in 2021 brings me back a lot of memories. Some of them are good memories, yet some of them may not always be good. I had a conversation with my best friend about closing 2021, I told her, I wish I could drink a sip of forgetful magic that could wash away all those feelings and memories. 

2021 starts with an invitation to take my current relationship to the next level. We were thinking about getting married, with a budget in our mind and things to prepare. Yet, due to pandemics and my Mother got infected with COVID-19 plus, there is not vaccine yet for the pandemic - we thought it might not be a good idea to hold a wedding in 2021. We like to have our guest to enjoy the party without using mask and can enjoy the dinner as well. Besides with that thought, we also in need of financial preparation, including place to live later on. 

During those process, there were few issues we had to address, and like any other relationship, we had our ups and down, arguments, excitements, reconciliation and forgiveness. Starting with financial issues regarding the place to live. The good part is that we found a house in Kelapa Gading with pretty fair price to get a loan from the Bank. Second, the venue for our wedding reception is gonna be held outside of Jakarta - which in fact, we did many research on place, budget and also price offered. We wants what we always dream about getting married to be realize this time. 

Eitherway, with our journey to take this relationship seriously, we want to close 2021 and open 2022 with an open heart, a grateful heart because we are blessed to find each other no matter what challenges come to us. So here we are, closing 2021 with faith and hope that tomorrow is gonna be a good day.