Because I keep doing whatever I should do in everyday's life. I woke up in the morning, went to office, worked a whole day and came back to home after office hour. Cleaned myself up, watched drama and end up slept at night. I'm doing that diligently every single day without any complaints but I cut myself from the world. I seldom post anything on instagram because there is no good photos, nothing to say and there is totally nothing I am interested to. Besides, there is no DRAMAS to distract my mind. Thankfully I got distracted again by Doctors and I am certain this drama is good. Maybe if you have time, you need to watch it thou. Dramas plays an important part in my growing up and takes a huge part of my life because it helps me getting distracted from overthinking.
There are series of event which make me depressed. If you have read my recent post, maybe you might notice there are things which bother me for few days and yeah it's true.
- Totally no order of makeup and it makes me thing I fail to do my passion and do not give my best to pursue it.
- Lack of achievement and improvement which makes me think I fail to improve myself.
- Fail to have a great connection with that man who suddenly stops caring and we decided to just be friend which make me feel as a failure to be a woman.
- Fail to control my emotional stability which makes me think that I fail to be a normal human being.
I tend to close myself at first, making every parts of my life to be private and close my heart to anyone, even to my parents and brother. I tend to be quiet and it leads me to overthink about the situation and not to improve it.
But I realized, I couldn't be always like that and I decided to just find a source of hope. I saw my friend who post a nice line which attracts my mind, "He is the one who taught me to NEVER ever GIVE UP! Believe in your dreams , never afraid to spread the wings of your imagination widely and let your mind soar. Never settle for less than you deserve and be positive, cause there is no failure except you're no longer TRYING."
Once, Calvin Chen also said, "Never stop trying, if you fails one time, try, try, try, and try again..."
But many times I always forget those words. I looked up online and found a good article on personalexcellence.co which taught me about being a failure.
Why do you say that you're a failure?
It's because you set very high expectations for every single little thing you do. But it’s not possible to live up to such high standards for every single little thing without a margin of error. It’s okay to be imperfect in the things we do. We are all imperfect.
After hearing that, I do not know why, but I feel relaxed and every burden in my chest seems to just lifted up. Instead of thinking and overthinking about the situation, maybe I should just improve the situation itself. Maybe you feel shitty right now and be glad that you're not alone and I wanna tell you that:
#1 YOU ARE NOT A FAILURE
Being born in this earth after competing with millions of sperms, I guess I am pretty lucky to be a baby that was able to win the competition and at least for my parents, I am precious gift from the God and not a failure. Just remember that you are precious.
#2 IT'S OKAY TO BE IMPERFECT
No one is ever perfect. For every high mountains, there will be a higher mountains.
I tend to be harsh to myself for setting an unrealistic goal which in the end will disappoint myself when I didn't live to that certain standards. As a child growing up with certain fairytale stories, I used to think that every woman has a dream at least to live that perfect ending with their Princes. But reality sometimes doesn't always to that way and maybe reality is better than the story I've ever heard.
It's perfectly fine to be imperfect because I am just a human, not a robot. Rather than being disappointed with the expectation I couldn't achive, it's better to make it as a learning point where I could learn all over again.
#3 WORK ON IMPROVING THE SITUATION
Instead of being down all over, it's better to think how to solve it. How to improve the situation. If I don't have any orders now, maybe I should advertise again and again or do something else to get people's attention. Maybe I should go over and meet with my old friends, sharing about life and telling them that I am a makeup artist now. Maybe, and maybe because of that, I got one order at least.
For being a woman, you don't need a man to complete you, because you are complete by becoming who you are. I do not want to think about being into a relationship nowadays. I just want to enjoy my life, learn some more things and becoming the best version of myself.
#4 STOP COMPARING YOURSELF TO OTHERS
Never ever comparing yourself to someone else. It's true that the grass on the other side is always greener. Although my garden may be small, the flowers not yet blooming, the lawn just getting ready to renew itself, my grass isn't so bad. And who knows with a little bit of fertilizer and tender loving care, my grass may turn out to be on the very best side of all.
We live in this live, not to become a copy of others but to be the very best side of ourselves.
Once I watched the interview with Lee Jong Suk who is going to be on W:Two Worlds, he said, "I know I am more suited to do a romantic-comedy type of dramas. Instead of doing an action as I want to do, it's better to just do what I am good about."
It's the same logic with, rather than I tried to copy what others have done with their makeup skills, it's better to just do it my own way and shines with my typical makeup signature. Everyone's success is measured differently and you can't compare an apple with an orange. So, stop comparing and just be the best of yourself. God has given use each talents and weaknesses and we should embrace it instead of complaining and copying to be the same version of others.
#5 DON'T SUBJECT YOURSELF TO OTHER'S JUDGEMENT
It's unavoidable in makeup industry to face judgement from others. We just can't please everyone. Everyone's taste is also different and they each have their favorite type. Just because complaints and negative feedback, it doesn't mean you are a failure.
There are stills a lot of people who is going to appreciate your talents and just surround yourself with positive people around.
#6 KNOW THINGS WILL GET BETTER
Same with nature, there is sun after the rain. Things will get better and there is hope in every steps of our lives.
#7 STEP A LIFE
If this is your way of recharging, go ahead and do that. It’s important to have down times to take stock. However, don’t do this for too long. You have to know, the world needs you for your talents. Besides, it's okay to cut yourself from the world but over times, it will eat us on the inside because as a human being, we couldn't live a lone life. That means we lost the human contacts, personal growth and the ability to affect worlds with our actions.
So step out a life, go out and meet with people. Open your heart and mind and you will see a totally different world which awaits you beyond your imagination.
Cheers!
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