Twisted Pleasure of Korean Drama

I feel sometimes life is an effort. 

Life is one thing that we must strive for the better. If you want something, you might have to work to get it. There must be a price that you have to pay, if you want to gain something in return. 

For the past few months, there has no reservation for makeup and I start to think whether my decision is a correct one. But there is no right or wrong asnwer as long as you know that's what you really want. I felt that I am a failure. Then, my friend told me that in life, you sometimes needs effort to make it work. I admit that I tend to close myself from the society for the past 2 months. I usually will put picture on instagram so that people would notice it. But, who is going to know about you when you did nothing at all to make people know your existence? It's also true that few months before are considered as low season for people to have party and weddings. But after thinking that there is no certain conditions to say that someone is successful now, then I would probably will say that I will still keep going no matter how many times I fall. And so, for the next few weeks, I am going to have some clients to meet. Hwaitting! ~

Another thing, it's the wedding season already and I already got some of the wedding invitations. My mom starts to think who she is going to invite on my wedding party and it sounds funny when her own daugther still has not have anyone to marry. 

For the better part of my adult dating life, I’ve always wanted what I don’t have. I've always wanted my story would be like the kind of korean drama, with the exact opposite of the 'too good to be true' one. I've always pictured those images that a relationship should be like that. Although I know deep inside me that there is no perfect example of relationship, nor the perfect male lead. Everyone has flaws and no one is ever perfect. Even Lee Young, the Crown Prince played by Park Bo Gum also has a temper in his personality, even though it's a cute side of him. But in real life, you would probably think it's a scary thing when your boyfriend often throws a fit.

Either I derive some twisted pleasure from constantly wacthing korean drama, or timing has failed me more times than I can count. I first chalked it up to being a complete sucker for the chase. And maybe it’s not so much what I don’t have, but what I can’t have. But, I still want the person who makes me work for it, makes me question my feelings and makes me want him more. When I thought about it, there has been no one who would make me feel in that certain way. 

In most of my teenage life, Taiwanese and Korean drama have always been my biggest inspirations for dating life. Many times I feel happy because of the story like  it's my story and also with the male lead. I think they called it as a effect of too much drama, a typical K-drama fan syndrome. Although it is only a drama, but they made my heart flutters a bit specially with their acting and emotions. There are various genres of drama and I tend to choose a drama based on the background story and next is the casting. Having years of experience in choosing K-drama to watch, I tend to like mature and realistic story line like Secret Garden and A Gentleman's Dignity which tell us the reality of life. Meanwhile, learning that no one is ever perfect. Kim Joo Won of Secret Garden is actually a jerk who has warm personality inside him and Kim Do Jin of Gentleman's Dignity is also someone with a flaw, a past mistake. But I fell for them both, knowing that a person cannot be perfect.

K-drama indeed is a learning source for me over the past years, and I don't think I would leave them even though I know it's a bad habit, having too much fantasy with unrealistic story, but in any case, it's a learning playground for me. I end up also knowing that I like a conservative type of storyline, such as historical drama which has a cultural value I also believe in. Although there are certain things in historical drama which I don't really like it, specially with the belief that the King is God, which turns out make him to abuse his power. It's no different whether it's during Qing or Joseon dynasty and somehow I feel relieved to be born in this era which allow me to have freedom. Besides, as a woman, I tend to like a romantic drama which shows true feelings instead of being overly romantic. Such a pure innocent love story will always attract me in every way.

Heol, is it too hard to find someon like the one in K-drama? Or should I just fly to South Korea and stay there because most of Korean male actor always make my heart fluttered? I know there will be no one like in K-drama. I am not looking for a super handsome guy also, it's just someone who has sweet smile. Is it too hard to find someone who has a suave and gentleman personality? Well, maybe one day. But, when tied down by the constraints of a serious relationship, I’m a complete commitment-phobe. I’m always wondering how it feels and what it means to have found 'the one'. But even still, I choose to walk away rather than thinking about it much. 

It's true that in the end, I end up avoiding it as much as I could. Although at times, there might be times I wondered why things doesn't work the way I want. I’m sometimes heartbroken and always intrigued by the unknown. That doesn’t mean, however, that the rotating first dates, multiple text pals and dating games aren’t exhausting. Life sure is an effort.

Hopefully, with times, I am able to let go and make the best out of it. 

For someone who will treasure me the most later on, it's either you accept me just the way I am, that includes my interest in K-drama, or we might not fated to be together.