It feels like just yesterday I blew out candles for my 21st birthday and all of sudden, I would be in quarter century old. I don't know about you, but I still feel like 22 y.o actually - but the big 2 and 5 is finally here and I am seriously having a mixed feeling about this. I've always been wanting to be an adult so much when I was still in high school, having those privilege to do what I want. But when it comes, things just don't feel real - I don't want to be an adult this quickly and have the pressure and responsibility of an adult. Yet I am happy to finally has the complete control over myself which includes all choices and decisions I will make though sometimes, I feel like the weight of the world's expectation is a giant crushing force and I am just too small, too weak and too incompetent.
It's a complicated feeling to really put it into words - the sky is not always bright outside and the rain comes pouring down unexpectedly. I can pinpoint an exact moment when I was researching graduate school and job at the age of 20 and realized that if I wanted to make it big, I need to work a lot harder. But today, when I finally turn 25, I can honestly tell you that I am nowhere near being the person I had hoped I would become by the age of 25 years old. But, just because your path may be a bit murky, does not mean that you are living your life wrong.
Turning 25 is hard, specially when you feel unsure and lost on your path. I've been thinking back to years before, is there anything you missed out before? What have you accomplished all these years and is there anything you regret? I would say that I am satisfied with what I've been doing all these years - graduating from university, getting my first real job, resigning from my first paid-job after 3 years working, moving onto other company and getting promoted. It seems just fine, but believe me, the journey is not as smooth as you thought. I got rejected here and there before I could proudly say that I never regret taking this part and I believe everything happens for a reason and realize that this might be the way God wants me to take. It turns out to be the best one, in His perfect timing. If I kept thinking "what if this...what if that..." I would never be grateful for what I already gained and would never be at peace for regretting certain things.
Turning 25 is hard, specially when you feel unsure and lost on your path. I've been thinking back to years before, is there anything you missed out before? What have you accomplished all these years and is there anything you regret? I would say that I am satisfied with what I've been doing all these years - graduating from university, getting my first real job, resigning from my first paid-job after 3 years working, moving onto other company and getting promoted. It seems just fine, but believe me, the journey is not as smooth as you thought. I got rejected here and there before I could proudly say that I never regret taking this part and I believe everything happens for a reason and realize that this might be the way God wants me to take. It turns out to be the best one, in His perfect timing. If I kept thinking "what if this...what if that..." I would never be grateful for what I already gained and would never be at peace for regretting certain things.
So, self, happy growing a year older. I am so proud to know that you've grown to acknowledge what you have achieved and be grateful for that. Even though you might be lost at this moment, not sure what you want in this life and where you wanna go, but that's okay, you will be fine, even though you might not feel okay all the time. I know, you might feel like giving up your dream, questioning what you pursue right now - whether it's your right path, but let me tell you;
"Be patient. Everything is happening for a reason. Trust the timing of your life."
"Sometimes, the best thing you can do is not think, not imagine, not obsess. Just breathe, and have faith that everything will work out for the best."
"There's a time and place for everything. There's no need to rush, or force things when what's meant to be will always be."
"Even when yo feel like giving up is an option, don't do it. Because there are far better things ahead than what you've already left behind. Remember even the darkest night are always followed by a bright sun, a new day, a fresh start. I can assure you, even if you feel like you've been like this forever and this phase is going to stay with you until your last breath, it won't. I can guarantee you it'll pass, that one day, you'll look back on this experience and realize how far you have come. Just how much you overcame. Just be brave enough to stay calm and keep holding on right now."
Things might be hard but there'll always be a way out. Happy birthday once again. It's your year, make it absolutely amazing. Don't stop moving a step further. Don't quit even when you get scared. Don't stop asking the value of your life. Don't waste your time as it never goes back.
Here comes 25, to smile a little wider, to laugh a little louder, to love a little deeper, to travel a little further, to be a little wiser, to think a little calmer, to hug and hold someone a little tigther, to walk my life a little slower, to work and pray a little harder.
I am proudly embracing twenty five! Hello :)
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