Motherhood Era

It's been almost a year since I am missing out from blogging. In fact, 2024 is my motherhood era. We welcomed the birth of our first child and as a new mom, I am still navigating how to care for a baby. 

Postpartum is a roller-coaster journey for me and many woman in this world. One moment you are so happy to hold your newborn, one moment I would feel sadness and anxious. Everything feels sore and my entire new life is feeding and staring at my baby. But my heart is full. 

I know that being a mother is difficult, but the feeling is different when I actually experienced it. No one told me how difficult to be a mother, how you have to juggling all the work (breastfeeding, you still have to eat, to take a bath but your baby is crying for you), the constant sleepless night when your baby is still newborn and when you will have time to rest. I know some people said newborn phase is short and that they will never be that small and that needy anymore. But when you are the one who has had a week of sleepless night, that feels horrible - specially you just gave birth, your body is still in recovery, your mood is imbalance, you just need help and attention from your surroundings. 

I always thought I would need caregivers for my baby. But until I experienced myself, I realized, I do not like my baby being taken away from me when she was a newborn. I wanted to care for her myself, and even though my surroundings tried to help me, I was feeling as if they are gonna take my baby away from me. To be honest, that moment is the hardest for me, and I am glad I went through it now. 

So my postpartum era is mixture of my body is still on recovery, feeling anxious that I am not good enough to be a mom, feeling unlovable - not confident with the new me, specially my postpartum body, feeling not pretty, feeling sucks, relationship changes as well. 

While I am still navigating with my motherhood era, I realized that I am too rigid with rules or information that I get. I am not really sure as whether the rules have to be applied exactly as it is or not. Sometimes with so many information and a new mom, I always find myself to be stressed out on new things related to my baby and this leads mostly to conflict with partners and caregivers. I wonder why as well. I didn't explore much on myself, but I asked chatgpt why I am like that and here's the answer that I mostly relate to: 

As a new mother, feeling rigid about feeding rules and baby care is quite common. Here are some reasons why you might feel this way:

1. Worry and Anxiety: As a new mother, you might be anxious about providing the best for your baby. Following strict guidelines can offer a sense of control and security.

2. Lack of Experience: If this is your first time being a mother, not having prior experience can make you focus more on rules and guidelines to feel more confident in caring for your baby.

3. Social Pressure and Information Overload: There is a lot of information available from social media, books, and people around you, which can be confusing or add pressure. You might feel compelled to follow specific rules to meet expectations or standards perceived as correct.

4. Uncertainty About What’s Right: There are many different ways to care for and nurture a baby, and no single method is perfect. Uncertainty about what’s right or best can make you feel more rigid in following guidelines.

5. Desire to Be a Good Mother: Wanting to give the best to your baby often makes you feel the need to adhere strictly to rules and guidelines.

To help ease these rigid feelings, consider the following tips:

1. Flexibility: Remember that every baby is unique and may need a different approach. Being flexible with rules and guidelines can make both you and your baby feel more comfortable.

2. Confidence: Trust your instincts and abilities as a mother. You know what’s best for your baby and can adjust guidelines based on what works for you and your baby.

3. Seek Support: Discuss your concerns and questions with healthcare professionals or fellow mothers. They can provide helpful perspectives and reduce feelings of pressure.

4. Education and Information: Continue learning and gathering information from reliable sources. However, feel free to adapt what you learn to fit the needs and comfort of your family.

5. Don’t Hesitate to Rest: Caring for a baby can be exhausting, so it’s important to maintain your own well-being. Taking time for yourself can help reduce stress and improve your ability to care for your baby.

Remember that motherhood is a learning journey, and there is no single right way to do it. Flexibility and patience with yourself and your baby are key to finding the right balance. 

Cheers.