One Time Decision

For the past few days, I have been struggling through a very hard decision to make.

When it's all about your life, what you wanna do in the future, and who you want to be in five years from now, my heart seems to be burdened by those feelings.

It was indeed hard to choose passion over money.

But I swear, if I didn't make this decision this year, I would regret it for the rest of my life.

Seriously, I would look back and saying why I didn't do such thing later on.

Thus, I believe, such blessings will come in any form of blessings which is not limited only to money. It makes senses for me now, that happiness couldn't be bought by money. I know it may seems like a lie, cos money indeed help you getting closer to happiness.

But the peace of my heart shouldn't be bought over money.

I am aiming for the future to come.

Cheers.

23 - Living Life To The Fullest

I am now officially and inescapably in “adulthood.” I can no longer justify reckless irresponsibility with our teenage or early 20s youth. While I personally often feel like I am 23 but act like 17 (especially where the emotion is not stable enough), there are some things I’ve picked up along the way. As a totally mature adult, I try to remember these things and put them into practice.

Me, 22 with her swolen eyes after having no sleep due to work

1. When it comes to others…

Know that family and friends are everything.
Keep them close, even when you may be far apart. They will support you when you don’t even realize you need it. See them as often as you can; reply to their WhatsApp or Line messages; make time to Skype; ask how they are and really listen when they answer.

Be present.
Social media has been brilliant for keeping us connected, but the value of human contact cannot be overstated. Set aside time for your loved ones, and when you have company, put the phone down. Instagram can wait half an hour, and so can your boyfriend.

Surround yourself with the right people.
As we go through life, we encounter various people and relationships. Learn to differentiate between the ones who lift you up and the ones who drag you down. Set boundaries with the latter, and invest energy in the former. Anyone who can selflessly celebrate your success and provide support when you struggle is truly invaluable.

2. When it comes to work…

Strive to be defined by your passion, not your job title.
If you want to make them one and the same, go for it. If that’s not feasible, set aside time for what you love. Finding what makes you tick and nurturing it is a worthy investment of energy; staying inspired will motivate and benefit you in more ways than one. I am currently showering myself with makeup class since that's been my passion since years ago and I am planning on doing that in the near future.

Know your worth.
Don’t be afraid to aim high, or speak up when your voice isn’t heard. If you don’t show confidence in your own ability, others will struggle to see it. Also, don’t be afraid to ask questions or change your path if your gut tells you to. Now is the time for trial and error.

Master the art of money management.
Or, at least, try to. Remember that one from your parents about putting some of your pay away each week? Do it. We may not be buying houses just yet, but you never know when it might come in handy.

Chateu de Chine, Hua Lian 2013

3. When it comes to travel…

If you haven’t already, make it a priority.
“Wow, I really wish I stayed in my 9-to-5 job six months longer, instead of taking that trip abroad,” said no one, ever. We’re so fortunate to live in an era where employers value life experience, so don’t waste that. Make a plan, commit to it, save the money and go. If you can live abroad, that’s even better. Travel is worth the sacrifices. I even want to quit my job and go travelling for a full year. That would be so epic.

Be bold and appreciate every moment.
Plan not to plan, and don’t be afraid to go beyond the tourist trail. Authentic experiences are often the most memorable. If you are able to, travel solo, even if it’s just for a little while. There is no greater freedom than discovering the delights of a foreign place all on your own.




4. When it comes to dating…

Put yourself first.
Rather than searching for your “other half,” aim to experience how wonderfully empowering it is to be whole without anyone else. Dating that is built as a quick fix for insecurity rarely ends well. If you can get to a place where you’re content on your own, you’ll attract the right kind of people without even trying. If you are happy being who you are, others will be happy seeing you. I believe in that, trust me, everything will be great.

Act on your own terms.
Free yourself from external judgment, and figure out what you want. Don’t be concerned with what (or who) your friends would approve of, or what society makes you think you should want. Want to date the guy with 10 years age gap? Do it. Keen for some casual fun? Have it. As long as you maintain self-respect, the opinions of others shouldn’t affect you. Besides, the ones who judge are likely just projecting their own jealousy, seriously.

Have fun with it.
Let’s not get confused: First dates are not future-life-partner auditions. Why should they be?
Enjoy the excuse to get a bit dressed up, have a drink and engage in some banter. If it’s meant to be something more, things will progress naturally. If it’s rubbish, at the very least, you’ll get a funny story out of it.

5. When it comes to you…

Open yourself up to who you are.
It’s great to admire qualities in others, but trying to be something you’re not will only exhaust you.
Own your achievements, learn from your mistakes, and remind yourself that success is ultimately subjective. Being comfortable with who you are and what you genuinely value will make it a lot easier to feel fulfilled.

Prioritize your health and well-being.
These things are so easy to take for granted, until they are compromised. I’m not saying it’s time to stop staying out until 5 am (Will it ever be?), but by now, we’ve seen enough people impacted by illness to know how precious good health is. Drink lots of water, eat foods that nourish you, spend time outside and minimize stress wherever possible. Life is short enough already.

Know your power.
Never be afraid to reach out for guidance or ask for help. But if you are in a situation that makes you unhappy, or you simply want a change, making it happen is up to you. Whether you’re considering ending a relationship, leaving a job or moving overseas, there will be times when your gut instinct is telling you to do something people may not understand or necessarily support. If there’s ever a time to take risks, it’s now. Feel the fear, and do it anyway.

Dream big.
Aim high, dream big, and don’t be discouraged by those who prefer to paint inside the lines. Every game-changing company and life-altering experience started as someone’s dream. If others can make it a reality, why can’t you? Besides, fantasizing is half the fun.

Of course, mastering all of the above is an ongoing process, but at least I’m trying to do it right now.

Perhaps, by the time I reach the half-century milestone, I’ll have many things to turn back and said, I have the best memories ever.


taken from Elite Daily.


Nice article and it feels like exactly what I have been trying to do.

Complicated Case on Kim Hyun joong & his ex-girlfriend

"what is the scandal about?"

"to sum up, KHJ's ex-girlfriend, Ms. Choi claims to have been abused repeatedly by KHJ last year in 2014. Because of the repeated abuse, she was miscarriage for two times and one time going under abortion. KJH admitted that both of them had a fight and accident, but it is not repeated abuse, thus the assault case come with money settlement."

"why is it the scandal been so long?"

"after receiving the settlement money, Ms. Choi made a lawsuit (not sure about this, since there are some disputes as to who is the one telling the truth about pregnancy and miscarriage, but since the body is hers, I supposed she is the one who should know about that) for miscarriage and pregnancy last year. However, till March 2015, she couldn't give evidence on such pregnancy. She only gave text message which containing her communication with KHJ regarding the pregnancy. KHJ's parents keeps wanting her to talk about the issues openly with them, but she never shows off. Then, on May 2015, KJH has to attend mandatory military for 2 years. He said in one of the text messages that by the time he is discharged from the military, the baby would be two years old and that would be difficult decision for him since he is going to miss the child grown up progress. However, he still said, if the baby is indeed his, he will take responsibility, marry Ms. Choi and promise her to live with her happily."

Miss Choi & Kim Hyun Joong

"then what's the problem with Ms. Choi?"

"Ms. Choi stated she doesn't have any intention of marriage and only wants to raise the child alone. This kind of problem keeps dragging up till now since the second pre-trial of the case, resulting in Ms. Choi couldn't give evidence of her last year's pregnancy. She never shows up in the court hearing also, due to the current pregnancy which she admitted on early January this year. The 22nd July hearing is also resulting in the assault case not being true since the evidence of bruises submitted by Ms. Choi seems to be accident from gym, not from abuse."

"then do you think the current pregnancy is true?"

"Maybe, it's possible that she is pregnant with KHJ's child. She claimed that on December 2014, they reconciled and went to Jeju Island for Christmas, which resulting to the current pregnancy. However, KHJ's side is not really sure whether the child is truly KHJ's. On the other side, Ms. Choi claimed to have broken up with KHJ since he slept together with so many girls, including actress J and some women who works at the night bar."

I keep thinking whether which side is true or not. However, in my eastern type of thinking and opinion, I am sure this might be somewhere true and somewhere not.

KHJ is a famous actor back then and I could say, every women would want to date him. 

However, since I never know what type of personality he has, I can only sum up to this point:

1.  Doing sex before marriage with actress J, in which the legal reps of KHJ already agreed that both of them were naked at the time where Ms. Choi entered their room, is not something acceptable for me. I mean... is this kind of attitude in this industry is normal? We never know. But I am really sorry for KHJ for having this type of attitude. This would lead to the opinion that KHJ is a free type to do some sexual relationship with anyone, whether he is conscious or not. In my eastern minded, I cannot accept that since if the problem happened, the victim will be on woman side. 

2.  Come to think to the above point, the sexual relationship with Ms. Choi might also be kind of sexual relationship in which KHJ is not aware whether he is drunk or not during the course of action. He isn't sure whether the child is his. Thus, allowing me to take an opinion in which Ms. Choi might have trapped him in the corner, and force him to think the child might be his since he is also not conscious at that time. That baby might not be KHJ's.

Some speculated that Ms. Choi is gold-digger and obsessed with KHJ due to the fact she is rejected. 

I have seen the text message changing between them and I was surprised to know how could KHJ said "pig" and "pregnancy machine" to Ms. Choi. However, we cannot forget how easy it is to manipulate text messaging to gain favor. But in whatever case, the legal reps said the text was not entirely exposed and the intended message is not degrading Ms. Choi. 

However, the point is still the same and in my opinion, he might said that not in a groundless reason since during the 7 months, Ms. Choi was able to get pregnant 4 times. Thinking that her status is ex-girlfriend at that time, and she was able to get herself pregnant 4 times and claimed that the fetus was from KHJ, I might be able to say:

 "Ms. Choi is indeed 'pregnancy machine' might be. How could you, as a woman, who has been told to get abortion and abuse from your ex-boyfriend still wants to sleep with him and get pregnant again? Are you seriously so fertile to get pregnant easily?"

Though, I was also not in favor with KHJ for saying that, since,

"If you don't want to be responsible for the baby, then get your sense and integrity, how could you still be able to have sexual relationship without thinking the consequences and now saying that she is a pregnant machine?"

Well, in whatever case, I hope this kind of drama will seriously end in a nice way.
I am not siding with anybody's side. It's just I am sharing my opinion.


Please get back after military discharge in 2017 healthily, KHJ, be a more mature and responsible man to your life first, then let your love one feel your responsibility sense. 

We also hope for Ms. Choi to be able to deliver the baby safely and please don't be that kind of woman who can be easily being treated in a way that hurts my heart as a woman too.  

I might say, I am not a big fan of KHJ. 

But I love how he acted in Boys Before Flowers and seems to have a gentle image also on Playful Kiss. Thus, allowing me to be able to like him more. 

However, since this scandal was out, I was unable to believe the fact in which I am confused with his personality. But in any case, I am happy that in 2009, I have a memory of liking him before the scandal was out. In any case, I am still hoping deep down inside my heart that he is not a bad guy. 

Notes:
Please forgive me if there were something wrong, since that's what I can summarize after reading the news. There are so many news which is very complicated thus I may have possibilities of being wrong, being judgmental and also being false.

Cheers, 

your reader, KHJ

Who Are You Looking For?

this kind of question keeps popping up my mind recently.
who am I looking for? what kind of criteria am I trying to find out?
why is it no good enough person around me?
is it because what I am asking for too much?

I never like the idea of getting older. As you age much, you even get more mature.
Men are like wine and  women are like ripped raisin.
but as we all are getting older each year, I couldn't even do anything neither have any more things to object.

I have been looking for someone who has many things to talk about with me, regardless of the time we will spend together. It's either 10 years, 20 years or even more than 50 years.
Because I don't want to be with somebody who doesn't talk anything with me. It's very scary to just live by yourself and the only way you will communicate is by having this kind of conversation, "I love you, please give me money..."

But, this doesn't mean, that person has to be outspoken or talkative.
It was really a minus point for me. I just want somebody who can share anything with me, specially.

Seriously, I might be looking for someone who is perfect enough all these time. However, I know, no one is ever perfect, nor can understand me completely. I just want somebody who can understand me to certain extend. It's not simply easy to get what you want, but when I could wish somebody like that coming over to pick me, I would love to wish something impossible till reality break me apart.
If I got what I am longing for, that would be a real bonus. If not, then that might not be mine.

Thus, there are certain criteria in which I have to set up first:

• That person should have responsibility sense. Responsibility here is not something you might have thought and it is not limited only to work only. I just mean the responsibility of himself in his lifetime. He has to get into his sense, what kind of person he wants to be in five years from now? what thing he wants to accomplish later? does he have some passion, vision and mission? I feel annoyed when time is chasing us, yet you still don't know what you wanna do and still slacking off for the past few months. In my opinion, that kind of attitude represents very little appreciation and respect about time. Time is a very precious thing, you might never get back a second you have missed. 
• That person need to be able to accept challenge. You might think I was asking a lot, but seriously, this is all for you, for your better future, I will keep challenge you and won't lock you down in my own world, because you have lots of possibilities out there. Explore more when you are still young and full of energy, darling. You have to be focus on what you wanna get. Such as love, if you are just going to chase me temporarily, for what should I care about you? 
• That person's personality should not be tough, because I am tough to handle. I am very stubborn person, yet I still want the best for you, darling. If both of us are tough, our lives later might not be going well, though I would still learn how to behave with the right attitude. I hope you would be able to comfort, guide and lose to me when I am upset over small or big things and care enough for me. The same amount you did to me, I would do the same of even more for you, darling. 
• That person hopefully is a family-oriented person who believes in God. My religion is Buddhism, thus allowing me to believe in karma and other things. When a person has his beliefs, I believe he still has something to be afraid of. A family-oriented person would be able to thank his family for staying beside himself and cherish them. This doesn't mean others would not do the same. It's just, when we both have the same beliefs, that would be better. I hope in whatever he believes, he will appreciate and still cherish me, even though later, after I am giving birth, my body is not as beautiful as before and my wrinkles looks even more vividly on my face. Will you still understand me and forgive me for not being able to look like before?

That's all, pretty simple right? But I just haven't met anyone like that. Hopefully later, that guy will come and this is what I am going to say when we are getting married:

"From today on, you’re mine

I want to slowly approach you

Trust me

Everything will be great

Who else in this world will think of you as much as I do?

From today until always, I’m yours

Always, I’m yours

I can tell what’s up just by looking at your face

Even if it takes hours, I will listen to you...

Let’s promise to make time for each other

Promise to never let go of each other’s hands

Only stay by my side, from today on

The day we first met

It was still so clear

Just like now, I’ll protect you

Even if I tell you more

It won’t be a waste

Trust me

Everything will be great...."

Cheers, Lishea