How to Take Things Slowly

1. Look out for key words. For phrases like I’m not ready for a relationship right now.

His actions don’t negate his words. It doesn’t matter if he invites you out with his friends or if he cooks you breakfast on the mornings he actually stays over. If he told you from the start that he’s happy living the single life and doesn’t want to settle down just yet, then you have to believe him.

You can’t make up a story in your mind about how he’s only saying that because he’s scared, because he doesn’t want to get hurt again. Maybe that’s the truth — but if he’s not ready, he’s not ready. You can’t change that fact, no matter how strong your connection is.

2. Live in the moment without putting too much focus on the future.

When he sends you a good morning text at 10 AM, enjoy that he was thinking of you on that particular day, but don’t expect him to send another sweet message tomorrow.

When he introduces you to his parents, be happy that he’s comfortable enough to show you off, but don’t daydream about spending the holidays with them and calling them your in-laws.

Try to enjoy every second that you spend with him, so when your ‘relationship’ eventually ends, you’re happy about the memories you made instead of disappointed about the future you never got to have.

3. Keep in mind that you’re still single. You aren’t in an official relationship.

It might feel like you’re betraying your almost boyfriend when you flirt with other boys, but there’s no label, which means you’re allowed to go out with whoever you want. You’re allowed to text other people until 2 AM and accept their drink offers.

If that makes your almost boyfriend uncomfortable, then he obviously has strong feelings for you, which means you can start a real relationship. You can ditch the almost.

But he can’t have you all to himself if he doesn’t want anything official. He can’t refuse to date you but get angry when you date other guys. That’s not the way relationships work.

4. Don’t take things too far.

You know how much you can handle. You know whether sleeping with him will make your feelings for him grow even deeper, if it will trick you into believing he’s the only boy in the world for you. And if that’s the case, don’t do it.

Keep texting him. Keep flirting with him. Keep doing all of the things that you’re comfortable doing. Just don’t take it a step too far and fall hard for him.

Until he gives you proof that he’s actually willing to commit to you, keep things casual.

5. Never stay with someone who makes you feel shitty about yourself.

If your almost boyfriend gives you a confidence boost because of all the compliments and kisses he gives, stay with him. But if he makes you feel even more insecure about yourself because he’s flaky and refuses to commit, then leave him behind.

Every relationship, even almost relationships, are meant to make you happier.

If you’re complaining about him every day and crying over him every night, then it’s time for you to find someone new. Someone it doesn’t hurt to love.

Sometimes You Risk and Lose

When you find out that they chose someone else to build a life with, to start an actual relationship with, your stomach turns. You feel like you’re going to throw up. Tears spring from your eyes because you don’t understand.

You didn’t see this coming. At all. So many questions race around your brain and you can’t fucking breathe because they were supposed to choose you.

They were supposed to choose you, right?

Why didn’t they? What makes her or him any better than you? What makes them different or more special than you? What did they do that sucked this person in? What magical powers do they possess that you never had?

What did you do wrong? Yesterday, everything was perfectly fine. Yesterday, he or she called and chatted with you. They kissed you and you stood on your tip toes giddy with the thought of a forever with them.

But now those butterflies have flown away. Your almost relationship has turned to dust. To nothing.

‘What if’s’ and question marks dance around your mind and you can’t bring yourself to calm down. You see the text or the picture or the relationship status change, and you want to scream but no sound ever comes out.

You feel defeated. Like you lost the game. Like you lost someone who you could’ve fallen for. Like you lost a part of you.

You sit on your apartment carpet floor trying to figure it out. Trying to know when they started pulling away from you. Trying to figure out what the hell you did to make them go for someone else. Trying to understand what went on in their heads when they decided to be official with someone else.

You still don’t know how it happened.

You call your best friends screaming at the phone. You call your other friends because you don’t know what else to do other than cry on the floor. You feel pathetic. You feel so dumb. So naive. So stupid. You call your mom. She doesn’t have any words of wisdom, so you hang up and cry some more.

You feel like the time spent with this person was a complete joke. Like it was a waste of your time. How did they play you so well? Why did they do it? Just to hurt you? Just to make a statement?

But then your best friend tells you that he kind of sucked anyway. He smoked too much weed. He was too sarcastic. He wasn’t even that cute. He wasn’t nice to all your friends. He always seemed sketchy.

You roll your eyes, but a tiny part of you agrees.

Maybe you were blinded by lust or love or whatever. Maybe you just wanted to feel something for someone because it had been so long. Maybe it’s for the best. Maybe these two people belong together. Maybe he or she never liked you anyways. Maybe they just thought you were pretty. Maybe they just thought you were cool for a couple of weeks.

Or maybe this is just some twisted, fucked up learning experience. Maybe this is just what you needed. To get you out of your daydream. To get you back into the real world.

I don’t know if there’s anything to learn from this, truth be told. It stings. It hurts. You feel like you are worthless. But let me tell you something, you are lovable. You are worth more than this person.

You are worth someone who gives a shit.

And this person clearly never did.

"Sometimes you risk and lose, and THAT'S PERFECTLY OKAY" - Anonymous

I just wanted to tell you this one important thing. It's okay to cry every once in a while, but life must go on. Past can only be a past. At least you still have yourself to love. 

Cheers. 

7 Ways To Build Your Confidence In Your 20s

Confidence is not the easiest quality to wear every day when you're facing the complexities of the world. We need it though, so we can get through life as gracefully and original as possible. Don't sleep on the impacting results of wearing and conquering the art of confidence. Practicing confidence in early adulthood will make you a trailblazing pioneer once you reach your 30s. You might be wondering exactly how to build your confidence in your 20s, so that you're living life to the fullest years down the line. It won't happen overnight, especially since we all experience digressing ourselves into what's simply expected at times.

Confidence is the solution to feeling entrapped by societal expectations. The world would be so boring if we were all the same, am I right? The trick about confidence is that we all wear it a little bit differently and give it our own definition. It's an innovative term that anyone can be privy to if they're trying to change their perspective of themselves. Confidence is not being cocky, it's being content with the amazing human being you have the potential to be every single day of your life. So, here are seven ways to build up your confidence in your 20s.

1. Experiment With Different Styles

Again, confidence can definitely be seen and has a lot with how you view yourself. Experimenting with different styles and finding one that works for you is the first step for you to walk confidently anywhere you go. Styles may come and go, but your comfort should always be something that remains.

2. Add Self-Love To Your Daily Routine

Whether you have to read morning quotes about loving yourself or literally say it in the mirror when you wake up every day, expressing self-love is a must. Establishing a dedicated love and respect for yourself will allow you to accept nothing less from the world. Confidence starts with you, and love needs to be part of who you are.

3. Be Straightforward About Your Feelings

Being confident means not shying away from feelings that need to be addressed. If you're feeling them rationally, then why not get them out? Being direct about emotions doesn't make you mean or a bleeding heart; it makes you real.

4. Don't Compare Yourself To Other People

Everyone is different. Literally if you have to say that a million times, please do. The world is beautiful because of how different we are from the next person. You can be your own mural and still admire other paintings.

5. Accept Things That You Cannot Change

Accepting that there are times when you will not be able to control every situation is building your confidence. You're letting the universe unfold how it's supposed to and have assurance that you can handle whatever you're handed. Acceptance of unmanageable situations is your key to peace of mind.

6. Enjoy Your Own Company

If you enjoy your own company, it's likely other people will too. You know what you have to offer a person when you're comfortable with your own company. Clearly, you're awesome.

7. Establish Your Own Definition Of Happiness

Confidence and happiness walk hand in hand. If you have one, you likely have the other. Once you've found and cherish your own definition of happiness, you can face anything confidently. Confidence really is something you have to build over time, but it's never too late. Life in your 20s can be the stepping stones so your 30s are a walk in the park.

Trust God & Always Have Faith

With constant and routines activities, it is easily to lose yourself in the process. You would suddenly have no idea what you want to achieve or where you would want to go. And it happens to me at the moment, to be exact. I've been feeling so lost - not only in my goals & dreams, but also losing myself. It's weird to be honest, to question myself who I am everyday, why I changed to be someone else, what happened to me and why I can't recognize my old self anymore?

Back to two months ago, people around me would always say that I should stop my obsession towards K-drama and I did it. It's so obvious that I rarely updated this blog - for the past two months I tried to keep my addiction as minimum as I could. The only thing I watch is, Running Man and one or two drama series. 

It's hard at first but I tried to distract myself towards something else. I've been following Game of Thrones Season 7 pretty consistently and I love it though the reason behind it was not purely because of the story. Besides, I've hit the gym pretty regularly for the past two months but, I still feel something's missing. I feel as if I am not the one I used to know, with my tendency to overthink and over-analyze something, I would always feel anxious, worried and not in the state of peace - and I don't like seeing myself in that situation. I don't know what but I feel as if I am losing myself in the process. Thinking about future and uncertainty makes it really hard for me to move forward.

At first, I would think that's all because of the hormonal cycle, but when it keeps repeating regularly every month, I would always question the healthiness of my mental state. Sometimes I thought maybe I have some mental problems. But I am not, "it's totally normal to have such feelings. And that's okay to feel lost sometimes. What's important is how you get back being yourself." that's what the girls used to say to me. Well, I don't really talk about this to that many people as I am pretty private. It just happened coincidentally.

I would always want to grow as a person, to always be positive and give back to the society. Sometimes, overthinking can really kill my soul - even when I tried to believe in God's plan, I would still feel anxious, depressed and emotionally not stable. I would always question why this or that thing happened, why half of my friend are getting married and half are still drunk, why I couldn't let go certain emotion, curiosity and temptation. 

It gets worse when I am on my period - as the mood swings seems pretty severe. I could suddenly cry without any reasons and tears would just keep falling down. Even, I thought I've reached my limit already. Well, after a good cry, things felt much lighter and I would suddenly think positively. It keeps repeating every month for the past two months. It's funny right - but google is my medication, blogging is my cure and I would re-read what I've written for the past two years.

As I went back to certain phase in my life, I realize the pattern, I have gone through the same phase and I am actually quite normal. There is nothing wrong with me, it's just I lose myself temporarily. 

Here's how to be back being your old self:

A. You do not need anyone to be happy. You, being yourself, is amazing. 

"You are beautiful just the way you are."

"Until you make peace with who you are, you'll never be content with what you are. - Doris Mortman"

"Live in such a way that if anyone speak badly of you, no one would believe it." 

We tend to forget how to appreciate ourselves, for who we are or what we have. 

We would always find something to justify and get other people to validate us. But, let me tell you, you do not need anyone to feel content about yourself. Happiness comes from within, not from anyone nor anything. You should be happy being your best version of yourself. 

B. Do not compare yourself to others

Each and everyone has their own race. It works on their specific time zone. People around us might seem to be ahead of you, and some might seem to be behind you. Just relax, and focus on your own race. God is good all the time, He has His own perfect timing for you. Better be late than have things fall apart, right?

C. Have faith & Learn to Let Go

So, what we can do is to have faith & trust and hopefully with a little bit of pixie dust, everything will work out magically;

"When you let go, you create space for better things to enter your life. - Buddha"

"Pray and let go. Do not try and manipulate or force the outcome. Just trust God to open the door at the right time. - Anonymous"

"Let the universe works its magic on you as you can't force things to happen. - Anonymous"

"Sometimes, the best things you can do is, not think, not wonder, not imagine, not obsess. Just breathe, and have faith that everything will work out for the best."

"There's time and place for everything. There's no need to rush, or force things when what's meant to be will always be."

Maybe I had written this in the past but I never really believe it. But for sure, 2 years after I wrote it, my life surely is way better. God has perfect plan for me and I believe in it. Had it never because of God, I would never be able to let it go (you know it yourself, lish!)

This time, I would like to remind myself again to really trust in God's plan. Let go, do not force things and the right door will be open at the right time. Sometimes, you just need to trust the Lord with all your heart and believe things would eventually work for the best.

Cheers!

Hospital Ship To Court CNBLUE's Kang Min Hyuk Alongside Ha Ji Won

I’m so excited for Ha Ji Won’s (The Time I’ve Loved You) return to dramas that I almost felt a visceral tug of happiness seeing her in this first teaser for Hospital Ship. She plays an experienced surgeon who ends up having to leave her job due to public ruination. She lands on a hospital ship that journeys to remote access islands to provide medical care, and relearns how to become an empathetic doctor.

It’s hinted in the teaser that being a physician aboard the hospital ship perhaps isn’t the most coveted assignment. Ha Ji- Wn’s voiceover begins, “It was everyday work, more familiar than breathing,” as we see her scrubbing up for a surgery. In contrast to her voluntary presence on the ship, Kang Min Hyuk’s (Entertainer) character is a military doctor assigned to the ship. Relaxing on the deck in a lounge chair, he tells his two friends, “If you can’t avoid it, enjoy it.”

He’s the warm, compassionate internist whose personality and attitude toward care is completely opposite from Ha Ji Won’s results-oriented, cold efficiency. He asks why she came onboard the hospital ship, and another voice speculates that she chose the hospital ship so that one day she could recover her status and return to her place in society.

She says that on the hospital ship, Kang Min Hyuk is the only one who can keep up with her quick hands in surgery. So already, there’s a good rapport there. The text onscreen says: “The adventure log of youthful doctors working toward becoming real doctors, toward living real lives. Prescribing with sincerity.”

At the end, however, we see Ha Ji Won tormented with self-guilt: Defensively, she asks what the patients were doing until they died under her hands. Is she referring to her earlier downfall or will there be another tragic case when she’s in the islands? I can’t wait for this drama to be here already.

MBC’s Wednesday-Thursday drama Hospital Ship will begin airing on August 30, following the end of Man Who Dies to Live.

Three Things To Learn from Buddha

In the end, we should learn how to live this life as how Buddha teaches us; to let go of things not meant for you, to let go of greed and earthly desire. That's when you would reach the state of peace. 

How much you loved? I think what is really being said here is that it’s important to allow love to be the basis for our thoughts, words and deeds.  We should be able to treat anyone with loving kindness, even if they are not related to us or in a relationship with us – in fact, especially if they are not. Treating people with love doesn’t have to mean letting people into our lives.  It may simply mean refraining from judging a person.  This is often harder than it looks.

How gently you lived? In my honest opinion is all about how you live your life fully. To simply live in the present, not fearing the future and do your best for the moment. To maximize each and every little time you had. 

The third part talks about letting go. That’s definitely a Buddhist concept, but it’s a good one, because there are an awful lot of things in this world that we really need to let go of.  That includes, money or material possessions, social status, any other greed and jealousy. Last but not least is the earthly desire. We all had something we really want, but let me tell you "Let the universe works its magic on you as you can't force things that is not meant for you to happen."

It's something good to think about. Cheers.

How to Cope With Depression

In this era of globality, we sometimes have too much information either from the people who we meet everyday, social media, internet or any other sources. It is possible to be highly affected by having too much information, leading to depression. Depression comes from any sources and I would hope that by having this written, this would help so many people out there who's struggling with their everday life;

Being depressed can make you feel helpless. You're not. Along with therapy and sometimes medication, there's a lot you can do on your own to fight back. Changing your behavior -- your physical activity, lifestyle, and even your way of thinking -- are all natural depression treatments.

These tips can help you feel better -- starting right now.

1. Get in a routine. 
If you’re depressed, you need a routine, says Ian Cook, MD. He's a psychiatrist and director of the Depression Research and Clinic Program at UCLA.

Depression can strip away the structure from your life. One day melts into the next. Setting a gentle daily schedule can help you get back on track.

2.Set goals. 
When you're depressed, you may feel like you can't accomplish anything. That makes you feel worse about yourself. To push back, set daily goals for yourself.

"Start very small," Cook says. "Make your goal something that you can succeed at, like doing the dishes every other day."

As you start to feel better, you can add more challenging daily goals.

3. Exercise
It temporarily boosts feel-good chemicals called endorphins. It may also have long-term benefits for people with depression. Regular exercise seems to encourage the brain to rewire itself in positive ways, Cook says.

How much exercise do you need? You don’t need to run marathons to get a benefit. Just walking a few times a week can help.

4. Eat healthy.
There is no magic diet that fixes depression. It's a good idea to watch what you eat, though. If depression tends to make you overeat, getting in control of your eating will help you feel better.

Although nothing is definitive, Cook says there's evidence that foods with omega-3 fatty acids (such as salmon and tuna) and folic acid (such as spinach and avocado) could help ease depression.

5. Get enough sleep.
Depression can make it hard to get enough shut-eye, and too little sleep can make depression worse.

What can you do? Start by making some changes to your lifestyle. Go to bed and get up at the same time every day. Try not to nap. Take all the distractions out of your bedroom -- no computer and no TV. In time, you may find your sleep improves.

6. Take on responsibilities.
When you’re depressed, you may want to pull back from life and give up your responsibilities at home and at work. Don't. Staying involved and having daily responsibilities can help you maintain a lifestyle that can help counter depression. They ground you and give you a sense of accomplishment.

If you're not up to full-time school or work, that’s fine. Think about part-time. If that seems like too much, consider volunteer work.

7. Challenge negative thoughts.
In your fight against depression, a lot of the work is mental -- changing how you think. When you're depressed, you leap to the worst possible conclusions.

The next time you're feeling terrible about yourself, use logic as a natural depression treatment. You might feel like no one likes you, but is there real evidence for that? You might feel like the most worthless person on the planet, but is that really likely? It takes practice, but in time you can beat back those negative thoughts before they get out of control.

8. Check with your doctor before using supplements.
"There's promising evidence for certain supplements for depression," Cook says. Those include fish oil, folic acid, and SAMe. But more research needs to be done before we'll know for sure. Always check with your doctor before starting any supplement, especially if you’re already taking medications.

9. Do something new.
When you’re depressed, you’re in a rut. Push yourself to do something different. Go to a museum. Pick up a used book and read it on a park bench. Volunteer at a soup kitchen. Take a language class.

"When we challenge ourselves to do something different, there are chemical changes in the brain," Cook says. "Trying something new alters the levels of [the brain chemical] dopamine, which is associated with pleasure, enjoyment, and learning."

10. Try to have fun. 
If you’re depressed, make time for things you enjoy. What if nothing seems fun anymore? "That's just a symptom of depression," Cook says. You have to keep trying anyway.

As strange as it might sound, you have to work at having fun. Plan things you used to enjoy, even if they feel like a chore. Keep going to the movies. Keep going out with friends for dinner.

When you're depressed, you can lose the knack for enjoying life, Cook says. You have to relearn how to do it. In time, fun things really will feel fun again.