2017 may not be the easiest year, at least for me, there were months when I feel quite down because work has no progress, went through quarter-life crisis and also heart-broken moments. But in the end, I went through all of those nicely - a bit scratched but that's fine. As long as I am not going through some kind of heavy depression, then I would say, I survived 2017 nicely.
Despite all of those, there were few months when I felt really grateful, happy and super blessed. One of that is when I finally landed in Bangkok for the first time in my life, visited so many places and Four Face Buddha as well on March 2017. Then, with the coming months for makeup clients for wedding party, bridesmaid (which was my target for 2017) - I felt really blessed to have those chance.
Though it was hard for me to accept that I will be 25 years old soon, but preparing my heart and mental was a pleasant experience. I thought maybe at that time, I would skip my 25 years old birthday celebration, but it came out that those bunch of my close friends were there to celebrate it with me. Really really blessed. In the end, I would say, I don't feel any different being 25 years old, it doesn't differ much actually - feels the same and you just need to feel grateful for another year of awesomeness. I may not be anywhere far at 25 years old, but that's also fine because at least you grow to be the person you've always wanted. Besides, I also learnt that you cannot compare your life with anyone else, because you can't compare your start to someone else's middle. Each of us has different timing in life and you just need to go on your own adventure.
During this time, I remembered how much happiness I received from someone. From a simple hello to such a complicated goodbye. I love every minutes I spent with him, from stories sharing, till some jokes I don't even understand. I will always wait every day for his morning message and curious enough when he talked about his hobbies - as if I would want to go and experience it by myself. But it was all too good to be true. I thought it would work out in the end, but it is not. And that's okay, I learnt to accept it, at least I knew how to open up again and invested my time in someone. I knew that I was worth to be loved back by someone, the same amount I gave. And finally I knew that I shouldn't change to be someone else for who you are not.
With the heart-broken moment, I was really blessed to have a brother who at least cares for my mental remedy, so I went for few side trips to Bandung and that was so much fun. I love it. It took me not too long to finally realize that I don't want to be with someone who won't give much effort for me. Sorry, it's just that I love myself a little much. It was indeed difficult to maintain back my daily activities without his existence for about 2-3 weeks, but I managed it. I would say, with so much works to do, and preparations for my Japan trip, I would not think much about what I felt. And that helped me a lot.
One more thing I was really blessed is the Japan trip itself last December. I am grateful that the trip went well, without any troubles, no one fell sicks and we came back to Jakarta safely.
Thanking God for the blessing and protection for our family, so that we could welcome 2018 together. I wish 2018 would be a far better year than 2017 and would love to have a chance to travel more in 2018.
But my most important resolution is to genuinely feel happy in every steps in your life. I realized that there is no such thing as constant happiness. Being happy doesn't meant that you have everything you want, work without feeling tired, being in a relationship without feeling disappointed, or everything you want always work out according to your plan.
Being genuinely happy is to understand that life is so precious that every little thing happens in our life helps us grow, even though life may not always go the way we wanted. It's perfectly okay to feel down sometimes. To be happy is not about how to smile all the time, but also how to manage your sadness, how to forgive others when they disappoint you, how to learn from your mistakes and failures - not only your success, and how to find hopes again when you are down. That is when you would find peace and joy in your heart.
I wish I would be able to do those things in the coming year, to mature myself mentally and spiritually - to be able to control my emotions and logical thinking thoroughly, to be able to always spread positivity towards the people around me (which includes myself) and how to become a better version of myself. I think finding peace within yourself plays an important point for your mental health. There is no point if you are not happy living your life.
I would wish there will be more chances for prewedding photoshoot next year and more clients in the coming year too.
Welcome 2018, another year to grow a bit wiser, to walk this life a little slower, to laugh a little louder, to love a little deeper, to work and pray a little harder XD
Cheers to 2018 <3
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