Happy 27th Bday

Happy Birthday to me! 

It was a big deal to me to finally accepting being 27 years old today. It is not because I cannot accept the fact of being one year older, but for you who have read my post before, I believe you have known why it was hard for me; because I get older but I am still far from my ideals. 

Maybe it was me who's too hard on myself, setting such standard which is a bit too far. When time finally comes, I finally come to terms with my life right now. I learn how to be grateful for the blessings I received every single day - the corporate job I do every day, blessed with my kind and very attentive supervisor, family who loves me much more than I imagine, best friends around who would stay with me no matter what and of course another blessings with my side jobs and lavieportrait. Saying thank you brings much positivity in our life. 

I tried to look at the bright side instead of complaining about what I do not have. By doing that, I try to accept the reality and be grateful about it. It doesn't mean I give up on what I believe or dream about, but I know, I am on my way to be there - doesn't matter how long it will take, as long as I'm consistent and persistent, I'll be there one day. 

I hope another year would even be better - to stay healthy, happy and full of joy. 

I wish to be able to let go of things I couldn't control, accept what I can do and what I cannot do, being able to learn something new no matter how old I get. I wish as time goes by, I would have another chance to improve my skills in whatever I do. 

I also wish to be able to support my family, specially my parents, to give back to society and grow as a person. To be able to travel to a new place, to learn about new culture and to see the world from new perspective. Travelling would give me much to learn from, to be an independent woman who knows what she wants in life. 

I also wish to be able to find my half rib, hopefully in the right time with the right person as well. Even though it may take some time, I wish I can be patient enough to wait. They said, "Wise Woman Waits", and so I hope I am able to be a wiser person - not comparing to someone else, but I wish to be able to become a better version of myself. 

In the end, I wish this year would be long enough for me to explore myself and the world. I wish to be able to forgive quickly, smile often, laugh widely and enjoy life and its present. 

Happy Birthday Lishea, you are amazing just the way you are. 

You're worth the wait. 

Cheers. 

Growing Old Another Year and Quarter Life Crisis

I don't know when it started, but it always happens every year when time come to the month of July - there is an exciting yet terrifying feeling. Another year to be grateful, for being healthy and entering another phase of life - an adulthood yet it's kinda scary because even though I am gonna be 27 years old, there are many things I haven't figured out yet.

To be honest, it's not about the feeling of getting older that scares me most, but the fact that I still feel like a teenager who just finished uni and figuring out life. It feels only few years back when I finished my university and started working in real life. But it has been 7 years since I graduated - yet I still don't know whether I go on the right path. I still feel like there are many things I haven't achieved yet, much or less many things I don't know as well. If time could turn back, I wished school could teach us how to be a proper adult, how to stand up in the real world, how to handle with real life instead of all theoretical stuffs.

When I was in my university year, I used to make plan about my life, like by 30 I should have achieved A, B, C, D, E and etc, should already know about this stuff or that stuff, should be a charming grown up who knows where she wants to go, should have worked on what set my soul on fire and what I am passionate about. But then, the reality kicks in. 

I realized, when I am here, soon to be a 27 years old woman, I'm still figuring out life - still working on 9am to 6pm corporate job, haven't even achieved anything yet - even though I managed to get a title by 25 years old. I may not a charming woman yet like Im Soo Jung in Search:WWW and still considering much on what I should focus on my career. 

I know, I may not be where I want to be yet, but for sure, I am on the way to where I want to be. By these, reality teaches me to let go of a certain standard and accept what has happened to me and be grateful about it. Although the road may not be always easy, but I am still hanging in there. At this point, I realize that life may not always go as I want and I learn to let go of that control, let life do its best for me, as long as I work hard, have faith and believe that it's gonna come true.

I learn how to live in the present without worrying too much about the future. My best friend said to me, that I need to love and understand myself, instead of being the harshest critic on oneself. I need to put down that "should" in everything I want to achieve. There is no such timeline in life. Each and everyone of us has different timing and that cannot be forced upon. 

Everyone's journey is different and I ought to let go of that control. The more I try to control something, the more the world won't allow it to happen to me. So I just need to stay back, relax a bit, stop overthinking and start having faith - letting God do what He wants to do with my life, that includes finding the right person as well.

Additionally, I was reminded of years back, how amazing it was to hang out late at night, how cool it is to get drunk and come home late. Yet, these days, those things do not even amaze me. It's true about getting older - in the end I learn how to be comfortable with my own self. There is no necessity to go out Friday night after work when I feel tired - so going home early is a better choice without the need to be cool to stay out like those teenagers.

Getting older let me think a lot of things, like being serious about where I wanna go; what I want in life and to seriously taking responsibilities of my life. And, somehow the way I thought about things also change - it feels like I am growing as a person; as a real adult. At this age, I want to have a stable career, stable job or even side job that pays well, a stable relationship, and also to build my own family. I guess I am here not to play around anymore - as there are goals I need to achieve and seriously thinking about accomplishing those things.

Hopefully the universe will make it work for me as well.

Cheers!

Eric 周興哲 - The Chaos After You 如果雨之後

如果雨之後 淚還不停流

Rúguǒ yǔ zhīhòu lèi hái bù tíng liú

If after the rain, tears still won't stop flowing

如果悲傷後 眼神更執著

rúguǒ bēishāng hòu yanshén gèng zhízhuó

If after the sorrow, my gaze becomes more persistent

那一雙不能牽的手

nà yī shuāng bùnéng qiān de shǒu

That pair of hands which I can't hold

那疼愛已無人簽收

nà téng'ài yǐ wúrén qiānshōu

That affection no longer received by anyone

像片雲 奔走在天空沒盡頭

xiàng piànyún bēnzǒu zài tiānkōng méi jìntóu

Just like the cloud drifting across the sky endlessly

如果雨之後 心還是嫉妒

rúguǒ yǔ zhīhòu xīn háishì jídù

If after the rain, the heart is still jealous

如果悲傷後 我少了溫度

rúguǒ bēishāng hòu wǒ shaole wēndù

If after sorrow, I lose my warmth

不想要誰將你呵護

bùxiang yào shuí jiāng nǐ hēhù

Don't want anyone else to pamper you

可什麼我都留不住

kě shénme wǒ dū liú bù zhù

But I cannot hold on to anything of yours

我們還沒結束 我好不服輸

women hái méi jiéshù wo haobù fúshū

We have not ended, I won't admit defeat

我只想說 我認真地愛過

wǒ zhǐ xiang shuō wǒ rènzhēn dì àiguò

I just want to say, I have loved seriously

兩個相愛的人究竟犯什麼錯

liang gè xiāng'ài de rén jiùjìng fàn shénme cuò

What wrong did two people in love commit

需要愛得如此折磨

xūyào ài dé rúcǐ zhémó

To deserve a love so torturous

我 是深深地愛過

wǒ shì shēn shēn de àiguò

I, have loved deeply

你在我的心中 從沒有離開過

nǐ zài wǒ de xīnzhōng cóng méiyǒu líkāiguò

In my heart, you never have left

如果你要走也帶我走

rúguǒ nǐ yào zǒu yě dài wǒ zǒu

If you want to leave, take me with you

如果雨之後 心還是痛苦

rúguǒ yǔ zhīhòu xīn háishì tòngkǔ

If after the rain, my heart still hurts

如果悲傷後 我少了溫度

rúguǒ bēishāng hòu wǒ shaole wēndù

If after the sorrow, I lose my warmth

我懷念我們的相處

wǒ huáiniàn wǒmen de xiāngchǔ

I miss the times we spent together

還沒把裂縫都彌補

hái méi ba lièfèng dōu míbǔ

Yet to mend the cracks

還沒給你幸福 我怎能服輸

hái méi gěi nǐ xìngfú wǒ zěn néng fúshū

Yet to give you happiness, how can I admit defeat

我只想說 我認真地愛過

wǒ zhǐ xiang shuō wǒ rènzhēn dì àiguò

I just want to say, I have loved seriously

兩個相愛的人究竟犯什麼錯

liang gè xiāng'ài de rén jiùjìng fàn shénme cuò

What wrong did two people in love commit

需要愛得如此折磨

xūyào ài dé rúcǐ zhémó

To deserve a love so torturous

我 是深深地愛過

wǒ shì shēn shēn de àiguò

I, have loved deeply

你在我的心中 從沒有離開過

nǐ zài wǒ de xīnzhōng cóng méiyǒu líkāiguò

In my heart, you never have left

如果你要走也帶我走

rúguǒ nǐ yào zǒu yě dài wǒ zǒu

If you want to leave, take me with you

沒保護好你的我

méi baohù hao nǐ de wǒ

Me who didn't protect you well

有什麼資格奢求

yǒu shé me zīgé shēqiú

What right do I have to wish

再聽一次你愛我

zài tīng yīcì nǐ ài wǒ

To hear you love me once again

你有沒有聽說？

nǐ yǒu méiyǒu tīng shuō?

Have you heard of it?

我已經面帶笑容

Wǒ yǐjīng miàn dài xiàoróng

I've got a smile on my face

成為約定好的我

chéngwéi yuēdìng hao de wǒ

Become the person whom I promised to be

等著你重頭再來過

děngzhe nǐ zhòngtóu zài láiguò

Waiting for you to start all over again with me

誰都沒錯 都認真地愛過

shuí dōu méicuò dōu rènzhēn dì àiguò

Nobody was at fault, we both loved truthfully

在命運面前才懂人有多脆弱

zài mìngyùn miànqián cái dǒng rén yǒu duō cuìruò

In the face of fate, we realize how fragile life can be

阻止不了誰離開我

zǔzhǐ bùliao shuí líkāi wǒ

I cannot stop who's leaving me

我 是深深地愛過

wǒ shì shēn shēn de àiguò

I, have loved deeply

沒有人能取代 你在我的心中

méiyǒu rén néng qudài nǐ zài wǒ de xīnzhōng

Nobody can ever replace you in my heart

你從來沒有離開過 如果你要走也帶我走

nǐ cónglái méiyǒu líkāiguò rúguǒ nǐ yào zǒu yě dài wǒ zǒu

You have never left, if you want to leave, take me with you

Well Intended Love Drama Review

Well Intended Love or famously 奈何BOSS要娶我 also known as How, Boss Wants to Marry Me is a Chinese web romantic comedy starring Xu Kai Cheng as Ling Yizhou and Simona Wang as Xia Lin as the main lead. It is recently added onto Netflix as well, which make me find this interesting story.

It's a fun and lighthearted drama with some kind of conspiracies, making it a bit dramatic. A third-rate actress, Xia Lin, with leukemia becomes entangled with CEO Ling because she needs him for treatment. In order to receive bone marrow transplant sooner and to continue her career as an actress, Xia Lin enters into a secret marriage with Ling Yi Zhou, the CEO of a company. Despite the conspiracies and misunderstandings they encounter, the two find true love.

I think what attract me most is because of the male lead, seriously handsome. Xu Kai Cheng is only 28 years old actor which his web series was a hit and led to increased popularity and recognition for Xu Kai Cheng. Although it is true that it is still far for his acting to get him as A-list actor, but he is quite good ad a newcomer.

He has previously appeared in dramas like Moonshine And Valentine and I'm A Pet At Dali Temple.

Simona Wang doesn't seem to get equal attention, but she creates a likeable personality as the leading lady.

Ian Yi is a member of the group "Spexial" and he plays Chu Yan, the best friend of Ling Yizhou.

At first, I really thought of him being a gay, because he's so good at playing that role. To be honest, I do not really like his character, just a mainstream idol, so many scenes of him I skipped.

Yang Haoming who plays Nan Jintian is hard to like cos of being a villain - beside his lips is too red on the show (okay, maybe I am prejudice because I already like Kai Cheng >.<). Yang Haoming make use of An Ran (played by Sun Jiaqi) as his toy to set every traps between Ling Yizhou and Xia Lin. Sadly, true love always wins.

Huang Qianshuo plays Wen Li, the boss's secretary - I love this second lead couple and also his bromance with Ling Yizhou. What a bad boss, bullying his assistant for being single and doesn't even have anyone who misses him. See, he can get someone as well! LOL

By watching this drama, I learnt something, which is kinda important to our lives. I've always thought that marriage should be based on love. That's indeed true, but love is not the only thing. People could get married to someone due to a situation as well, but in the end, certain things has to be set, like being honest and respect each other - that way, marriage life would even be fine. And if you are lucky enough, love would be another taste in your marriage which will complete your happiness.