Showing posts with label relationship. Show all posts
Showing posts with label relationship. Show all posts

Monday, July 18, 2016

Buddha: Let Go, Better Things Will Come


"When you let go, you create space for better things to enter your life. - Buddha"

I've been thinking lately about two exact person, maybe it because in just a few days, I'll be entering my almost quarter life crisis. It's not a crisis, although you might say that in some other way.
Entering your almost a quarter of life brings much feeling when you look back to your life, what you have achieved so far, what you do want to do in your whole life, where you wanna go, and might be with whom you want to spend the rest of your life.

Life at this point of time is just full of unexplained question marks. Even with just want to be 24, I still feel there are many more things I never see, never hear off and maybe never been experienced it before. But there are still years to go on with life with full of unexpectedness.

Two exact person who has crossed path with me in this life, is much more alike with each other. They both is a quiet type with full of mysterious aura. Sadly, we just are not fated to be together.

Named the first one as "A". A is full of charismatic personality, high intelligence and a nice and kind one. Even I think, knowing and having a chance to get to know this person seems like something too good to be true. Maybe it's because of the distance, with both lost the feeling from the first time we meet and we just end up as a friend. I've also ever thought that maybe I give and open myself too hurry to him and we just end up with nothing to be curious about each other. Rushing is actually not really a good thing. With that conclusion, I was determined enough to let him go and maybe the better one will come.

And life offers me another option, with much nothing to do at work, no dramas to watch for the last few months after 'Descendant of the Sun', I paid attention to someone, named him as "B". This B is super mysterious and getting his name is really such a homework to me. Thankfully, I have my cousin who is good enough and let me know his name and background. Yet, I made a fool of myself in front of him. Because of my curiosity, I dare to approach him first and get to know this guy. Sadly, the thing is, he said he got a gf and yet that night I just realize that he is actually the ex-bf of my friend's best friend. What a drama. I dunno whether he actually gets together with another girl in just two months or maybe it was all a lie. In any case, from that moment, I tried very hard to take myself away far from him and tried to ignore the temptation of my curiosity.

But many times I want to let him go, I found myself to be guilty again. Many times I meet again with him coincidentally and things keep me being tempted. Maybe I never listen to what Buddha has said.
"Let go, Lish, because better things will come." I should have believed it no matter what the reality does to me. Everytime I was tempted, I remind myself again and again, if I did that, I would regret the decision I have made with emotion rather than logical thinking. If he is curious enough with me, then shouldn't he be the one to try to get to know me?

In just a few days, it's my birthday and I really wonder whether A will remember it, or whether I will have luck with B. But by this time, I think it's really time to let go, Let go all the humanity's needs and temptation because better things will come. You create space for them to come to your life and believe it, there must be a way arranged by Buddha for me, a way that is thousands or millions times better than what I have imagined.

Please help me to always reminded by your grace, Buddha!

It's so random that I post things like this, but hopefully it can inspire you guys when you are tempted to do something illogical but you are very tempted to do it by heart. Calm down, take a step back, think about it again and again, you will see your final answer there :)


Cheers!

Sunday, July 17, 2016

Uncontrollably Fond - Episode 4 Summary



I couldn't help myself but adoring Kim Woo Bin so much on this episode! Hot Oppa but with a sad fate. Why it should be him? WHY!?


Episode 4 tells more about the present day, 5 years after Eul's car crash accident, after JY becomes a famous actor instead of prosecutor. With the backstory firmly establish why things happen in the present day, and now it's only between JY and Eul. In the present time, January 1st, 2016, JY agrees to do the documentary for Eul.





As JY drives up and down every single bridge over the Han River, Eul peers over the railing on the bridge that she’s on. She spots something curious underneath, and brightens to see a young couple taking a picture together. Ha, it’s Lee Yoo Bi and 2PM’sJunho, and Eul gasps. She quickly takes out her phone and leans precariously over the edge to get a good picture of them, murmuring brightly to herself that the heavens haven’t forsaken her yet. Lol, they’re putting in cameos as themselves, and Eul guesses that they must’ve started dating while shooting their movie together. It’s then that JY spots Eul and yanks her back down, shouting at her for taking her life so easily. He screams that he’ll shoot the documentary, calling her crazy, while she just stares up at him like he’s the crazy one.


Back in 2011, Eul nearly dies on the operating table, but is revived at the last minute. The surgeon comes out to tell her little brother Jik that the surgery went well and the worst is over, and down the hall, JY hears them and sheds a tear, though he still looks agonized. Ji Tae also watches from a distance and hears that Eul made it.


JY goes straight to his law school advisor, his finger still bloody from him picking at it all night, and announces that he’s dropping out of school. When his teacher asks why, JY says that if someone like him became a prosecutor, this country would really be hopeless. It’s what Eul had said about him in high school, though now his guilt has made him believe it. He walks the tree-lined street through campus one last time, soaking it in before leaving it all behind.


Fast-forward to 2016, after JY has agreed to do the documentary. Best friend Na Ri totally overdoes Eul’s hair and makeup for the first day of her documentary shoot, and Eul reminds her that JY is out their league now and starts wiping off the lipstick. But Nari says this isn’t about seducing him—it’s about pride, and she can’t have JY looking down on Eul when all of them were once friends on the same level. Eul sees her point and asks for the gold dust.



JY gets out of the shower and spends a gloriously gratuitous amount of time checking himself out in the mirror. He asks his reflection how someone so healthy could be sick. Manager hyung GY runs in to tell JY that Eul is outside the front door, and whatever he’s picturing right now, reality will be better than that. JY sees what he means when they get to the video intercom, and Eul is standing there looking like she’s dressed for a nightclub. In 1989, or thereabouts. Whatever era it was, there sure was a lot of glitter.


GY cracks up at Eul’s idea of dressing up to impress JY, but JY just takes it in silently (omg his silent smile <3) and sends hyung to go feed the dog. He watches Eul take a bunch of selfies and declare herself so pretty that it must’ve been difficult to hide it all this time, and he can’t help but crack a tiny smile.



Eul is surprised when Na Ri pulls up in her scooter, insisting that they swap out Eul’s fake-designer purse and earrings for the real deal (which she’s borrowed from a friend). Eul doesn’t see the need, but Na Ri says JY would know the difference and might look down on her. Eul argues that JY will look down on her regardless of designer anything, and adds that his terrible personality is even worse than it was back in school. He’s listening to all of this, of course, and his face darkens.


Na Ri gapes at the size of JY’s house, but quickly reverts to pep-talk mode and reminds Eul that she’s got just as bad a temper as JY and is practically a dog once she goes crazy, so she should consider any rants from JY as nothing more than a dog’s bark.


Na Ri encourages Eul to make the most of this opportunity, given that she faked a suicide to get it, and Eul corrects her that she never said she was going to kill herself; she just never corrected his misunderstanding. Now THAT makes JY angry, and he leaves her standing outside his door in the freezing cold in retaliation. Eul waits and waits, and just as she’s about to kick his door, JY comes out to take Pororo for a walk and catches by the arm.


He’s back to speaking formally with her, so Eul follows suit, though she’s perplexed when he calls the documentary off. He confronts her about the fake suicide attempt, and she points out that it was his misunderstanding, and she meant to tell him the truth… but forgot.


She argues that he made her lose an exclusive on Junho and Lee Yoo Bi’s date, which would’ve paid for two months’ wages. He tells her to send her bank info to his manager so he can give her twice what she would’ve made then, and she says he might as well give her a hundred million won. He scoffs at that and says he could give her a billion won, and a car, and the house, and everything he has, and screams at her for asking for something so little as a hundred million. He thoroughly stomps on her pride, and Eul shouts back that it must be nice to have so much money that he can look down on everyone and go back on his promises like a bastard.



She punctuates it with a kick to his shin, and trusty sidekick Pororo reacts like it’s an attack on his master and charges at Eul. Next thing we know, JY has her slung over his shoulder as he carries her inside. He flops Eul down on the couch and tells Gook-young that she’s probably just faking it, because all Pororo did was charge at her, and she fainted. He heads out to exercise and tells GY to send her home, only to have GY shout worriedly that something’s really wrong.



Eul is feverish and covered in rashes, so JY has his doctor make a house call. The doc says she’s allergic to dogs and suffered a shock, and should be fine after taking medication. The doc notes that JY looks healthy, and JY says it must’ve been a bad diagnosis. He jokes that he won’t sue the doctor, but neither of them looks convinced.


JY ties Pororo up outside and thanks him for the defensive strike, but tells him not to attack Eul anymore, because biting her will get him kicked out of the house. Pororo whines in response. JY goes to check on Eul and peeks at her ringing phone, which says that “Husband” is calling. That certainly gives him pause.


It turns out that Husband is Ji Tae, who shows Eul’s little bro Jik a nice apartment and says he and his sister can stay here for free because it belongs to a hyung he knows. Jik turns down the offer, saying that Eul is becoming more shameless about money these days, and getting something like this for free would just solidify her belief that working hard is pointless. Jik doesn’t want his noona to rely on get-rich-quick schemes and luck and chance, and says that he’s already found a friend to stay with, and Eul can stay with Na Ri until they save up enough for a new apartment.

Ji Tae is even more embarrassed when Jik hands him an envelope, saying he got a bonus from the mom of a student he tutors. Jik tells Ji Tae to buy himself a new winter parka and points out the hole in the one he’s wearing. Ironically, Jik says that Eul is so materialistic that Ji Tae’s poverty is preventing him from winning her over, and he suggests buying a nicer jacket to impress her, so that he can become Jik’s brother-in-law. Oh, if you only knew how rich he really is.



When Ji Tae arrives at home that night, he looks like a totally different person head to toe. It’s a family memorial dinner, and Jung Eun is there cooking the entire lavish spread. Mom and the housekeeper ajumma are thoroughly impressed, though little sister Ha Ru outwardly shows her disapproval. Ha Ru goes to Dad and complains that nobody could be that perfect and not have something else going on, and speculates that Jung Eun might have come from another star, or eat snakes when no one’s around. When Ji Tae comes home, Dad tells him to say something nice to Jung Eun for doing all the cooking.

Ji Tae agrees pleasantly, though in his room he looks distraught over having to make nice with Jung-eun. In a flashback, we see that Ji Tae had asked his parents to call off the arranged marriage to Jung-eun, asking for a chance to marry someone he loved. Surprisingly, Dad had been understanding, and said that no matter how important his own career was, it wasn’t more important than his son’s happiness.


Now in the present, it’s unclear what’s changed, because he comes out of the bathroom and rubs Jung Eun’s shoulders like a boyfriend. She asks for a kiss, and when he doesn’t reciprocate, she calls him out on only being with her out of a duty to their parents, and when he doesn’t argue, she feels insulted.



He suddenly grabs her by the arm and says, “Let’s get married.” He wants to skip the engagement and just marry her, but she wants to know if he loves her. All he says in response is, “As long as you don’t push me away, I won’t leave you.” Jung Eun says it’s okay because she’ll just love enough for the both of them, and pulls him in for a kiss.



JY wakes up at the foot of his bed and is surprised to see Eul gone, though he finds her right away stuffing her face with ramyun in his kitchen. He just gapes for a moment and then asks if fainting is her shtick. She says that she got into a car accident some years ago, and had to undergo three surgeries—since then, her body’s been all messed up. He gulps at the mention of that accident. Eul hems and haws and then brings up that offer he made before she fainted, and asks if he really meant it when he said he’d give her everything. He asks what she wants, and she asks for a hundred million won, which she says is the biggest amount of money in her world.




JY doesn’t say a thing, but she negotiates the amount down lower and lower, and then suggests a loan if he won’t give it to her outright. But he asks why he should just give her money when she could earn it herself, and she argues that he took away the one job she managed to score. At that, he calls his agent and says he’ll shoot the documentary, and they can add a clause in the contract that if he changes his mind again, he’ll pay them a thousand times the contract breach fee.



Ji Tae gets a message late that night about a pair of sneakers, and Eul calls to say that they’re his present, in honor of her new job. He’s happy for her, until he hears that it’s a documentary on JY. Clearly Ji Tae knows something, because he’s too shocked to answer her, and Eul hangs up thinking he fell asleep. She must really like him, because she ends the call with a kiss to her phone.



The next morning, JY builds Pororo a doghouse outside, and he explains that it’s just for three months while they shoot the documentary. 



Pororo is not pleased, and JY offers to swap houses and let Pororo have the big house. Well that’s just adorable. He then spends the day cleaning up alllll of the dog hair in his house because of Eul’s allergy. Eul gets called in by her old boss, who butters her up using Eul’s own tea-with-a-side-of-aegyo tactic. She quickly discovers that he heard about her scoring JY’s documentary, and he offers her twice the pay as the other production house and a full-time job with benefits. She lights up at that. Her boss heads outside to take a call from someone he calls “managing director,” and we see that it’s Ji Tae. He’s made an offer to invest in their company as long as they secure Eul. Hm… what are you up to?


JY’s manager and agent are surprised to see that JY redecorated for the documentary shoot, and they wonder where he went. But, JY is throwing up in his toilet at the moment, and writhing in pain on his bathroom floor. As he crawls to the shower and writhes in unbearable pain, he narrates:

“I wanted to ask, why now? I was fine all this time, eating well, sleeping well, and I shortened my record up to the peak of Cheonggye Mountain by three minutes. Eul is supposed to come today. I’ve waited for this moment for so long. Why now, of all times? But then I remembered a promise I had made long ago: ‘If you save Eul, if you only save Eul, I will give up all of the happiness allotted to me.’ I will give up all of the happiness allotted to me.”


Back in her ex-boss’s office, Eul thanks him for the offer, and he’s pleased that she doesn’t hold a grudge. But Eul corrects him—she does hold a grudge, a mean one in fact—and turns down the job. She clarifies that it’s really because if she were to betray JY now, he’d kill her. Ji Tae must’ve been trying to get her away from JY’s documentary, because he doesn’t look pleased to hear that Eul turned the offer down. 


Ji Tae’s flashback brings us back to the night of Eul’s accident in 2011, and this time we see that Ji Tae had been outside Eul’s house too, and he saw JY eavesdrop on her blackmail phone call to their father. Ji Tae watched from a distance as Joon-young followed her out, and he saw the whole accident play out right in front of him. At the hospital, he’d seen JY crying and washing up in the bathroom, and he’d picked up the phone Joon-young left behind, with a picture of him and Mom on the screen. Ji Tae had ordered an investigation into JY, confused about why he’d nearly kill his own girlfriend to protect Ji Tae’s father. He’d gotten a swift confirmation that Joon-young was likely his half-brother, and in the present, Ji Tae takes out an old photo of his father hugging JY’s mother.


At the hospital, JY congratulates his doctor on not being a quack. Doc says his condition is declining rapidly, and JY asks how long he has to live—six months, or three? Doc avoids answering and suggests checking into the hospital and beginning chemotherapy right away. It's cancer. JY confirms that he’d die anyway, and just asks for medication to manage the pain, “So that no one knows that Shin Joon Young is dying. Even me.” He says that if the doc can make it painless until the day he dies, he’ll sign a hundred autographs for his daughter.

Ji Tae’s mother happens to cross paths with JY on his way out, and she wonders why he’s at the hospital. JY calls Mom, who doesn’t answer and sends back one of those automated messages saying that she’s in a meeting and can’t take calls. He scoffs at the idea of an ajumma at a restaurant holding meetings. Mom is in fact holding a meeting, of what appears to be an anti-Joon-young fan club. She and two of her employees (one of them is GY’s brother and JY’s stylist) are busy writing bad comments about him online, and Mom schools them on being a proper anti-fan. Ajusshi catches them in the act and threatens to report them all, and chides Mom for her childish method of trying to get JY to quit acting. Ajusshi points out how ridiculous it is to think that if JY became a prosecutor, his father would suddenly break up his loving family and take Mom and JY back. But Mom has a bone to pick of her own, and says that JY didn’t choose to become an actor—he did it because GY got himself into trouble and JY signed with his talent agency for the money, to save GY. Ajusshi is shocked that Mom knew all this time, while Mom feels chastised in turn when she learns that JY knows all about her being his anti-fan.


Apparently Joon-young’s fan club has been tracking his antis too, and Haru in particular is ready to go after the anti fan. But more pressing news steals their attention: They discover that the PD for JY’s documentary is too young and pretty to be left by his side ’round the clock. Haru gets her group to rally their efforts into finding out whatever they can about this PD Noh Eul, and nearby, a café employee lifts his head at the name. It’s Jik, of course, because this must be one of those shows where there is One Café, One Restaurant, and One Hospital in all of Seoul. Jik hides the fact that that’s his sister they’re planning to bring down, and he exchanges numbers with Haru, promising to give her some dirt on Noh Eul.

Meanwhile, Eul gives a dreary presentation on the documentary concept to JY, the documentary team, and his staff, and they all nearly pass out from boredom. JY interrupts to ask her to summarize the point like he’s stupid, and that finally gets her to speak like a normal person and not a robot.



Eul says that the concept is an uplifting message to young people to fight for life, using Joon-young’s bucket list. Suddenly they all realize it’s a cool idea, though JY stills when Eul says the message is: Live, however you can, and don’t die, because no matter what life throws at you, it’s worth living. JY gets up abruptly and says he wasn’t told that this would be the concept, and storms out of the room. He retreats to his bathroom floor again, his mind swimming with thoughts.


Outside, everyone takes bets on whether Joon-young will bow out of the documentary yet again, and the crew is ready to pack up and leave. Eul says she’ll try to convince him one more time, but to everyone’s surprise, Joon-young walks out with a smile and says they should start.


Eul begins the interview by asking what Joon-young would want to do most if he only had a year to live. He doesn’t answer for the longest time, making everyone in the room tense. Finally he breaks the silence by suggesting that a year is too long, and he’d prefer to say it’s three months.



Eul says that’s fine, so then he says he’s going to live recklessly, and kill everyone he doesn’t like. She says that’s not really the goal of this documentary, but he ignores her and says that he’ll go to clubs and sleep with a different woman every night. His agent tries to stop the interview, but JY barrels on and insists he’s serious. Eul asks why he’s not including drug use or drunk driving or gambling then, but he counters that he’s not joking—he’s speaking sincerely.

Then he suddenly says, “Will you date me, Noh Eul PD-nim? Let’s say I’m going to die in three months, so just for three months—really passionately.”



Personal thoughts:

Although I have seen the question to Eul to date within 3 months passionately, but knowing the truth that JY is dying now in three months and that's why she asked Eul to date with him, is something new and feels so much sadness deep inside my heart. It's gonna be a hectic also I guess with JY's mind and thought. He really wants to date Eul but there is no reason to ask her and since they are still on the topic of having a life for three months, then he goes on saying that and I know it's serious. 

Maybe Eul will take it as a joke, but I hope she can realize how much JY has fallen for her although his father is the one who scheme her father's hit-and-run accident. Now the story seems much more like the modern Romeo and Juliet, except with the disease that Romeo should have. I dunno why the writer states about JY's sickness at the very early time of the episodes. By knowing that, we all will expect that this is going to be a sad ending. Even if Eul realizes JY's love for her, they won't be able to be together for a long time, isn't that too cruel?

Kim Woo Bin's acting for being a sick person is also much convincing which makes me proud and shouts for him for doing a really good job. Another Song Joong Ki maybe with his hot abs and hot oppa style? Haha. Anyway, I really enjoy all four episodes for Uncontrollably Fond and will gonna watch it till the end because I believe there will be twist, unless why the writer tells us about JY is gonna die in the end in the very beginning of the story?

What do you think?

Recaps taken from dramabeans,com


Cheers



Friday, June 3, 2016

Marriage

Hi people!!



Been wondering why most people get married and well yeah, I guess it's one of the choices which life offers to you. And it's up to you whether you wanna walk on that path. Marriage for me is something kind of 'holy' thing in which I wouldn't do it for the sake of not being alone. 

My pals around one or two year older than me are getting married and I am really happy for them, Sometimes I also wonder, to myself, when it's going to be my turn and who's going to walk the aisle with me. It's just something anyone doesn't even know till the day comes. I am 24 years old soon and I could say that I am worried too sometimes that I am going to get older and older yet nobody is going to take me. But I asked myself, am I ready to get married? I couldn't answer that. 

Although it's a holy thing, it's just something that I am not prepared to go through it. Marriage means you have to share your time with someone else, for the rest of your life. Besides, not only that, but you got another homework to build your new family, to adapt to one another and it's a homework because you deal with a new issues in life. In the end I realize that marriage is not the final thing that you have to achieve in life and yet it's not a competition in which you compete who's going to get married first. 

I'd rather be single rather than being into a relationship in which I don't even have a feeling for the other person. It seems suck, but I couldn't be into an agreement that by times, although you have no feeling to the other person, you will fall eventually to him. Maybe it could happen but for me, I believe that I will get married to someone I feel I wanna spend the rest of my time with him. Not because I was forced to do it.

Cheers and be blessed!