Happy New Year 2020

It feels so fast that 2019 has gone by. Before new year coming soon, I would like to think back about what has happened in 2019 and reflect back to what I can do better in the coming year.

It was really hard in the beginning of early 2019, because I felt that nothing would change and it will be the same this year. But God's timing is amazing. I was given a lot of time to really forget those painful memories, regain myself back and start exercising to be a better version of myself. I challenged myself to be more open, to look at things in a more flexible way.

I trusted myself that I am worthy, I deserved a love that is sure of me from the beginning. I learnt how to enjoy myself even though I am single, which in fact status does not correlate with how you feel about yourself. But in fact, I learnt how to enjoy my own company and focusing more on myself until suddenly someone came along. That was the best surprise I guess (because it was only a week after my birthday).

I used to think I am enough by myself, until liking someone gives me some fears - that is the possibility of being hurt. You open your heart for someone yet there is a fear of being hurt. Sometimes, once in a while, I was so insecure with my relationship, afraid it is not gonna last. What if he saw my bad side, what if after I said this, he would leave me alone? Sometimes I thought with those kind of feelings, which one is better, being single or being a relationship?

Somehow I know those kind of fears rooted from my past experience of being rejected by those guys I invested in much. I tried to forget those moments, yet it still affects me deeply. Then I realize, forgeting does not work in my case, instead I have to forgive and let go. Forgive them and forgive myself as well, that everything that has happened, is not because of my fault.

Thinking back, those memories has affected me in my current relationship. Even though everything is fine, sometimes I feel insecure and I need to eliminate those feelings if I want to move forward with my life. Even without a status, I am going to be fine with myself, I am complete and good with being my own self.

In 2019, I would like to thank God as well for His guidance that I am able to have another working experience in banking sector, a job that I wanted to try before.  Thanks God for allowing me to learn about something new, which challenges my limit.

I also want to thank God for His perfect timing. I feel loved. Thanking God for allowing me to have my first concert experience, and it's Ed Sheeran World Divide Tour. How can God be this good to me?! That was an amazing experience, and I could not imagine I could get that close to the stage.

Thinking back, 2019 is really wonderful that I am able to meet some new friends from prewedding session, have prewedding session to Bali two times in a row and also went to Japan last autumn. We used to think that our life does not go so well according to our plan, but if we try to reflect back and learn how much has given to us, life is beautiful indeed. Let's focus on what we have instead of what we do not have. Let's learn how to be grateful for the blessings and live life kindly and humbly.

In 2020, I would like to wish:

1. I am able to conquer my fears, let of my burdens and to love myself
2. Having a high self esteem so that I do not feel lacking every month
3. Exercise regularly (2 times a week) and maintain BMI
4. Eat healthier choice of food
5. To learn new skills and practice meditation regularly
6. Many more which I could not share all of them here

As there are more I would like to do, I wish, next year I could accomplish those all.

Let's live this life with more smile, less hate ~

Love Never Gives Up on Anyone

Life sure is full of surprises. It was just months ago but something big happened and changed the way I live my life. I do not know how it went up like this, but for sure, I finally found myself a boyfriend. A loving one.

Actually I knew him a day after my 27th birthday. He said "Hi Lishea" and with such an open mindset, I would like to get to know someone new at least. Nothing's wrong with being friendly. Out of sudden, we just made an appointment to meet the next Thrusday evening. But, due to some unavoidable work situation, I couldn't make it and he also couldn't make it at night after work. So the first time we met is a week after we chat briefly. It was also for a short period of two hours during lunch time because I do not want to spend so many hours meeting someone new.

To think about, I don't know myself why I decided to meet him. If he approached me before my 27th birthday and asked me out, I think I am sure I would reject that offer because I am not ready to meet anyone, somehow I made such promise I need time to be alone at least till my birthday.

So that Saturday, I met up with him. He looks better in real life than in picture to be honest. We had our lunch and  the conversation was going smoothly. He may not the exact kind of such ideal guy in my mind yet I find him very attractive and I would love to meet with him again.

Things going smoothly, I just like talking to him and without any kind of anxiety or even confusion. It was really effortless. Nothing much happened during that everyday chat. It's just some casual chat with a little bit of jokes and sharing session of my trip to Bali. And, if you asked me what kind of conversation I had with him the first time we met, I swear I forgot. But one thing for sure is that, I remember being myself, sharing pieces of my life story openly and it turns out he likes that vibe of me. After my trip to Bali for about 4 straight days, he called me in the evening after work. I used to reject someone's call if I don't really know that person well. The reason is that because I don't want to engage in a conversation in which I need to find something to talk about. Yeah, that was so lazy of me. But I don't know why at that evening, I just picked up the call without any reasoning. Maybe because he didn't reply to my last chat and I just decided to answer him. So anyway, that was the first time I heard his voice after the first meeting (ofcourse I forgot how his voice sounds like before).

He has such a deep and nice voice to hear and I remembered he asked where I am at that time. He talked about the traffic and how busy he was today at work - which made me surprised that I do not need to think about what to ask or say. But there was a feeling that I need to stop the phone call, even though the other reason is because I need to eat my dinner as well. After that phone call, everything feels different - somewhat I feel happy.

The next morning, I need to go to Soekarno Hatta International Airport for my first flight to Kuala Lumpur. Unexpectedly, he called right before my boarding time, and I missed the call and I decided to call him back before going for flight. It was just a brief moment, yet, the feeling is so special. We didn't meet that week and he went to Singapore as well for business trip. But we kept in touch by sharing photos, experiences and many more - till there was a time when he suddenly call at night when he was in the hotel, asking me to accompany him to bed. That was awkward to talk about an hour with someone I just met once.

To think back, I did that so called 'talk' before with someone I met briefly in a wedding party. After many years, he contacted me again by phone and we did talk about an hour (which was very awkward for me), but in the end, it didn't turn out well with that person.

This time, I told myself not to think much about having a call from him and just let things unfold naturally. After that call, the conversation wents smoothly with a bit of banter around and we decided to meet for a second date next week, which is around 2 weeks away after our first meeting. The funny thing is that, instead of being worry and anxious - not wanting to meet, I found myself waiting for the weekend, excited and anticipated to meet him.

And so, things are going smoothly and here we are, I found myself a boyfriend :D

I remembered after we got together, he revealed that he miss me as well after his Singapore business trip and cannot wait to meet up with me too (that was after our first meeting but we haven't planned for the next meeting).

A lot of emotional moment actually to even reach this stage. But I am sure of one thing, from the first time, there is no such anxiety or confusion and I feel his feeling is true with me - no such doubts about it and as I said before, relationship needs two people to work on that together. And it should never been a one-sided effort, because a real feeling would never make you confused in the beginning. All would be clear and you do not have to question what you mean to him/her.

I like how straight forward he is with his feeling and his intention right from the beginning and I do not know why, but I can sense he could balance my character as in we both do not know why but it happens our personality attracts each other effortlessly. He feels he can be himself when he is around me and I feel peace when I am with him. Maybe, that's true, it will happen at the right time.

So, have faith. The right person will come at the right time. Love never gives up on anyone who believes in love.

Cheers!~

Reminders If You Are In Your 20s & Feel Stuck in Life

"Nothing will ruin your 20s more than thinking you should have your life together already."

Have you ever woken up one day, completely clueless with no direction? We all have gone through such feelings before. Everywhere you look, you come across people who you think are at a better place in life than you are, and that suffocating feeling just drags you down further. Stuck in life, at a job, at home, or at relationships, the feeling of being less than what you expect yourself, just pulls you apart. These are some feelings that every 20-something has gone through in their life. In this haphazard way of life, we often forget to form meaningful relationships, find something that means a lot to us, and a place where we can actually be happy. If this is what you also go through, then remember it is okay, it is a process you go through to reach a better place. But before that, you need to remind yourself that everything is going to be okay. So, every one of you, who is looking at their life right now, and wondering if it will ever get better or not, here are 20 things to remind yourself.

1. You are enough. 

2. Your circle of friends gets smaller, but the quality of people gets better.

3. You are your own greatest asset, and it’s probably time you started giving yourself more credit.

4. Avoid comparing yourself to what you see on social media. The grass always looks greener on the other side.

5. People will judge you anyway, so do what makes you happy.

6. Let go of toxic relationships and anything that doesn’t help you grow.

7. You still have a long way to go, don't beat yourself up because of small disappointments or failures.

8. There is no specific age at which you need to have a job, travel the world, have a healthy relationship, or have children. Things will come into your life when the time is right, don't chase after goals set according to other people's achievements. 

9. Stop being fearful of rejection, be courageous and tell people how you feel. 

10. Shitty people will say and do shitty things, and the best thing you can do is ignore it.

11. No one has the right to make you feel guilty about the life choices that you have made so far, be it related to your work, your relationships, or even your sex life.

12. When your job gets really tough, that’s when you have to realise how much you care about your work, or how much you need to find a different job.

13. Remember that you work to live, you don’t live to work.

14. Get a hobby that makes you feel good about yourself and follow it with all your heart.

15. Laughter is the greatest form of therapy. So do it often, alone or with people who make you feel good about yourself. Laugh and let go.

16. A stable relationship does not have to necessarily mean having a romantic partner.

17. Losing love is better than never having that love at all. So don't ever stop yourself from falling in love. Take the plunge, my friend.

18. Document your journey and important events in life so that you can be more self-reflective. You will notice things about yourself that you never did before.

19. Call your parents and don’t be too proud to ask them for advice. They may be wrong sometimes, but their experience in life may turn out to be helpful. 

20. Be passionate, be fearless, and go after what you want in life.

Crash Landing on You Upcoming Drama - Hyun Bin & Son Ye Jin

tvN’s upcoming drama “Crash Landing on You” has shared its first teaser poster of Son Ye Jin and Hyun Bin.

The drama will tell the story of chaebol heiress Yoon Se Ri (played by Son Ye Jin) and North Korean officer Ri Jung Hyuk (played by Hyun Bin). They fall in love after Yoon Se Ri is forced to land in North Korea during a paragliding trip due to high winds and Ri Jung Hyuk who falls in love with her while hiding and protecting her.

The first teaser poster features Hyun Bin and Son Ye Jin in front of a bonfire under a night sky full of stars. They gaze deeply into each other’s eyes with a romantic atmosphere in the air. Viewers are already looking forward to their on-screen chemistry as they portray forbidden love between a South Korean woman and North Korean soldier.

The actors filmed in Switzerland and Mongolia, and the teaser captures the breathtaking landscape of these beautiful countries as the two characters crossed paths with each other. Then the second teaser video unveiled the comical first meeting between them, which prompted much excitement.

The new teaser video shows the moment Yoon Se Ri and Ri Jung Hyuk meet for the very first time, where she literally crash lands into him. She calls out for help as she’s stuck in a tree and though she’s glad to see a soldier at first, she takes in his attire and realizes he’s a North Korean soldier. He gets ready to fire on her when she falls on top of him, allowing her to have a safe landing.

Wanting to deny what’s going on, she says, “You defected, right?” but he replies, “You seem to be misunderstanding this situation. You’re in North Korea.” She’s stunned by the revelation as she says, “How did I get here?” The teaser is quite comical compared to the more cinematic first teaser, and give a glance into the great chemistry between Son Ye Jin and Hyun Bin.

Son Ye Jin and Hyun Bin previously starred in the 2018 film “The Negotiation” together, and fans are looking forward to seeing their chemistry once again as leads of this upcoming melodrama.

“Crash Landing on You” is set to premiere in December and is a collaboration between writer Park Ji Eun of “My Love from the Star,” “The Producers,” and “The Legend of the Blue Sea,” and producing director Lee Jung Hyo of “Good Wife,” “Life on Mars,” and “Romance Is a Bonus Book.”

Insecurity & Learning How To Love

I believe this topic is really important in today's society yet rarely being talked directly upon.

Most of us feel insecure sometimes, but some of us feel insecure most of the time. The kind of childhood you had, past traumas, recent experiences of failure or rejection, loneliness, social anxiety, negative beliefs about yourself, perfectionism, or having a critical parent or partner can all contribute to insecurity. Here's three big type of insecurity

Type 1: Insecurity Based on Recent Failure or Rejection

Recent events in our lives can greatly affect both our mood and the way we feel about ourselves. Research on happiness suggests that up to 40% of our “happiness quotient” is based on recent life events. The biggest negative contributor to happiness is the ending of a relationship, followed by the death of a spouse, job loss, and negative health events. Since unhappiness also influences your self-esteem, failure and rejection can deliver a double whammy to your confidence. And those of us who have lower self-esteem to begin with are more reactive to failure. It’s as if an experience like losing your job grabs old negative beliefs about your self-worth and activates them.

Type 2: Lack of Confidence Because of Social Anxiety

Many of us experience a lack of confidence in social situations like parties, family gatherings, interviews, and dates. The fear of being evaluated by others—and found to be lacking—can lead you to feel anxious and self-conscious. As a result, you may avoid social situations, experience anxiety when you anticipate social events, or feel self-conscious and uncomfortable during them. Past experience can feed your sense of not belonging, not feeling important or interesting, or just not being good enough. 

Type 3: Insecurity Driven by Perfectionism

Some of us have very high standards for everything we do. You may want the highest grades, the best job, the perfect figure, the most beautifully decorated apartment or house, neat and polite kids, or the ideal partner. Unfortunately, life doesn’t always turn out exactly the way we want, even if we work extra hard. There is a piece of the outcome that is at least to some degree out of our control. Bosses may be critical, jobs may be scarce, partners may resist commitment, or you may have genes that make it difficult to be skinny. If you are constantly disappointed and blaming yourself for being anything less than perfect, you will start to feel insecure and unworthy. While trying your best and working hard can give you an advantage, other aspects of perfectionism that are unhealthy. Beating up on yourself and constantly worrying about not being good enough can lead to depression and anxiety, eating disorders, or chronic fatigue.

Perfectionists often have conditional self-esteem: They like themselves when they are on top and dislike themselves when things don't go their way. 

After so many years of being single, I found myself involved with someone. The idea of someone new coming into your life is kinda special for me. I thought I was matured enough to handle relationship, to care for someone and being part of each other life. So what was my expectation from a relationship? Thinking hard, I expect a maturity in being together, to grow together either it is physically, mentally, spiritually and financially. I always thought when you love and are happy with yourself, everything else will fall into your life. Then I assumed, when I found my special someone, that means I am happy with my life and will continue to be happy. They said, when you love yourself enough, then love will come to you.

But to be honest, finding your special someone requires you to take a step back, to really analyze yourself whether you are truly happy with yourself. And for my case, I did. I am happy with my life at that point in time. I learn how to be able to enjoy my own companion, to be comfortable with my own self and being my best self without pretending to be someone else. When I met him, I thought I do not need to concern about loving myself anymore. Yet, learning how to love and stay in love with yourself is a lifetime learning. I believe by learning how to love yourself first then you will know how to love others, period. 

Once in a while, my insecurity comes and sometimes I forget how I value myself. One of the cases is when I thought I was mature enough not to think about his ex-girlfriend or any other girls, but after looking at social media consistently, I found myself unconciously comparing myself to them. That's not healthy I know. I thought I won't care much about the past, but sometimes those feelings would just come. It was hard for me to process those thoughts.

I kept thinking, why those thoughts come across occasionally? Is that because of he does not treat me in a good way or does not show his love for me? What was lacking in our relationship? 

I realized that everything is good actually. That's me being subjective and assume that he does not care for me, even though he cares for me a lot. I assumed that I am not important to him. I assumed myself that I am not good enough, that he will leave me alone one day.  

Those kind of inner critic and negative self-talk is something I need to get rid of. I always thought that my insecurity comes from being rejected from my past experience, yet if one day I finally found my special someone, everything would be alright. But let me tell you one important thing, THAT'S NOT THE CASE. Your insecurity do not come from outside situation or condition. It's within you that you have to look inside.

I realize those insecure feelings usually stems from my low self-esteem which comes from all the insecurities and constant comparing. But why should you compare an apple to a banana? It does not have any point, right?

"What's not so good about you that is good about other person?" That's when I realize, there is nothing not good about me. Then what's the point of comparing now?

The past is already in the past and that person may no longer part of your life and you should instead do not bother with its existence anymore. That person was in the past, so there is a great deal of reasons why the relationship ends and why he/she choose to be with you now. And I need to trust that. Then I read this and it resonates with me the most;

“I learned that one of the most vulnerable parts of loving someone is trusting that they love you back, and I need to be generous in my assumptions.” (Brene Brown, Rising Strong)

That left me that if I like someone, means I need to trust that other person that he likes me too. And to be generous in my assumption is that by trusting the best possible scenario instead of worrying about the worst.

I used to keep all thoughts in me and never speak out what I wanted or needed. But he managed to get me to speak out what I feel and why I feel like that. By being open and vulnerable, I told him what I have been feeling and what I hope for the future. 

I realize that instead of making a lot of assumptions, I need to be able to communicate better what I want and learning how to love.
I realize then that I have to tame down my self critic and let the past be my lesson instead of my enemy. I learn it the hard way that;

I am worthy.
I do not need someone else's opinion about me.
I am good and complete.
I accept my imperfect self.
I love myself.
I feel happy by being my own self.
I feel loved and cared for.
I am important.

That's when I think working on self-esteem issues is really important. Try to focus on what you can do better as a person instead of comparing to others. Here is what you can do:

1. Stop Comparing and Start Believing in Yourself.

Everyone's life is different. You cannot compare an apple to an orange. Comparison is unfair to start with. You cannot compare your beginning to someone's middle. Even if you compare strength to strength, there will always be those who are better, and those who are worse.

Try to be aware of when you start comparing yourself to others … once you’ve developed this awareness, try this trick: stop yourself. Tell yourself, “Stop that!” And then start thinking about all the things you DO have, the things you love, the people you have, the blessings that life has given you. Make this a regular practice, and you’ll start to be happier with your life.

2. Accept Yourself for What You Really Are

Can you learn to like yourself even when you are not doing well? Focus on inner qualities like your character, sincerity, or good values, rather than just on what grades you get, how much you get paid, or how many people like you.

3. Count Your Blessings

A better focus is on what you do have, on what you are already blessed with. Count what you have, not what you don’t. Think about how lucky you are to have what you have, to have the people in your life who care about you, to be alive at all.

4. Be OK with imperfection. 

No one is perfect — intellectually, we all know that, but emotionally we seem to feel bad when we don’t reach perfection. You aren’t perfect and you never will be. I certainly am not, and I’ve learned to be OK with that. Sure, keep trying to improve, but don’t think you’ll ever be the “perfect person”. If you look at it in a different way, that imperfection is what makes you who you are, you already are perfect.

We tend to be our own harshest critics. My best friend always tells me to be kind to myself and let go certain control and idealism. But that's true, I am the one who used to set such high standard on my own self. My idealistic way of thinking wants every single thing to be under my control. Perfectionism is a really a real deal. I always said to myself that I have to learn how to accept there are things that out of my control and try to be perfect is impossible because no one is perfect. I knew it, yet I might need some reminder, sometimes. 

5. Learn to Love Enough

If you always want what others have, you will never have enough. You will always want more. That’s an endless cycle, and it will never lead to happiness. No matter how many clothes you buy, no matter how many houses you own (seven, in the case of one famous candidate), no matter how many fancy cars you acquire … you’ll never have enough. Instead, learn to realize that what you have is already enough. If you have shelter over your head, food on the table, clothes on your back, and people who love you, you are blessed. You have enough. Anything you have over and above that — and let’s admit that all of us reading this blog have more than that — is more than enough. Be good with that, and you’ll find contentment.

When it comes to your self-worth, only one opinion truly matters — your own. 

In the end, no matter what status you have, no matter what kind of job you do, happiness is something we found within. Our happiness does not depend on someone else or even someone else's opinion about you. We should feel complete by ourself and loving ourself is not a one time off lesson, as it is a lifetime learning. 

Let's have a more positive way of thinking ~

“To love is to stop comparing.” – Bernard Grasset

“Don't think about forever. Think about today. And whenever you are together. Focus on how you can validate, respect, appreciate and care for one another. And what a wonderful love you have created, When you think a love that will last forever, you tend to forget to focus on the now...and that's how love dies. The most important purpose of the relationship is for you to become a more loving person.”

Hotel Del Luna Ending Final

Ever since 49 Days, I think Hotel Del Luna is one of the meaningful drama about life and death. It's truly remarkable to be able to have this kind of drama every once in a while. And thanks to my dear friend, letting me know this drama exists and for sure, I do recommend this drama.

It was clear right from the beginning that there is no such happy ending between Jang Man Wol (played by IU) and Ku Chan Seong (played by Yeo Jin Goo). They both know one day Man Wol has to leave and go to afterlife. To be honest, there was a bit of spoiler that Man Wol has died because she committed suicide after killing so many people, yet I do not see that background story. It's just that her time stopped and she's been living for 1,300 years and never aged.

Man Wol has been punished for her entire life because of her past. She has to attend to ghost who just died and still want to linger in this world with their unfinished business before the time comes for them to go to afterlife. Because once you go to afterlife (crossing the Sanzu River - or we used to call it as the bridge that separate the living and the death), you will forget all the memories during your living time and that's where the reincarnation theory will take place.

Man Wol could not let go of her past and instead dwelling upon it, tried to take revenge before she go to her afterlife. That revenge energy hold her to get punished in the world between the living and the death. Even after 1,300 years, she never once let of of Chung Myung who betrayed her and still want to take revenge on him. So irony, that human life is like that, maybe for some there are still some unfinished business during our living time, yet we still hold onto them - making our journey to the afterlife a bit complicated.

The subject of death is not an easy one to talk about, much less create lovely stories around, but I loved the tales of the hotel’s guests and the lessons they taught. For me, Hotel del Luna wasn’t so much about death as it was about concepts like peace, forgiveness, kindness, good and evil, and appreciating life while you can. Even though it took Man Wol thirteen hundred years to learn how to understand and forgive, she was eventually about to heal once she was willing to let herself be vulnerable, and by healing she enabled herself to move on and be happy. It’s a simple lesson, but an important one, and seeing her become capable of letting go is a help to me to be able to believe by letting myself be vulnerable, healing will take place and letting me be happy instead.

Hotel del Luna has taught us, it’s that parting is inevitable, but that goodbye is never forever. Life and death are a circle, and every ending is also a beginning. And it's our duty to start living and appreciating life as it is, be kind and always learn how to forgive and cherish life.

Hotel Del Luna 2019 Korean Drama Review

"Don't judge a book by its cover" is a pretty well-known saying and I think it suits the Korean Fantasy Drama, Hotel Del Luna. Naturally, a scary, old, dilapidated building isn't worth a second glance because come on, there's nothing to see but cobwebs and ruined walls. But this particular building begs to disagree because it holds a grand secret that's definitely shocking.

The 16-episode series give viewers an exciting new look at shabby buildings because the torn down establishment located in the heart of Seoul is actually an extravagant, Victorian-styled hotel complete with an outlandish interior, luxurious rooms, and expensive champagnes (because what's a hotel without a nice drink, right?) that is open for business as soon as the sun has set. I might just catch a plane to go there right away if not for the, er, scary catch: the hotel only caters to ghosts! The youthful-looking actress, IU, will act as Jang Man Wol, the CEO of Hotel Del Luna. Her character is a bossy and ill-tempered woman who has done something terrible in the past so she is being punished with immortality and is tasked to run the hotel. Try as she might though, she can't seem to  remember what her grave sin was (spoiler alert: she committed suicide);  but she has accepted her fate and continues to manage the business.

Because of her extravagant spending, the hotel is doomed for bankruptcy. This is where Yeo Jin Goo's character, Goo Chang Sung comes in handy. He is hailed as the youngest assistant manager in a multinational hotel company. He's a perfectionist and is good at what he does but is secretly faint-hearted. Jang Man Wol uses this to her advantage and sends a ghost to scare him and persuade him to work for her. Goo Chang Sung takes up the position of General Manager in Hotel Del Luna and ends up nagging Jang Man Wol a lot. 

I think it's safe to assume that this drama will have lots of funny, bickering scenes of the two main leads and I'm already loving it! Days before the show's premiere, new posters have been released and one of them appears to be a character relationship chart which shows Lee Tae Soon and Lee Do Hyun as somehow connected to IU's character. Meanwhile, it shows Park Yoo Na and Cho Hyun Cheol as having a close relation to Goo Chang Sung. Other actors in the character map were Shin Jung Geun, Bae Hae Sun, P.O., and Kang Mina. Seo Yi Sook and Kang Hong Seok will be playing gods in the drama as well as actor Jung Dong Hwan who plays Manager Noh.

Thanks to my love for all things supernatural and fantasy-related, I'm already dying to watch the show! I'm also wondering if like in Goblin, their lives are intertwined in the past. Oh well, the only hope of finding out is to tune in once it premieres!

Finally I Found The Answer

Hi everyone, welcome to the month of August! My last post was about three weeks ago, but it feels like months since I do some updates. First, I am really sorry I haven't been able to do a recap on what I watched recently. So many things happened. Work is a bit overload - additionaly with lots of activities which make me unable to start a new drama. I will surely do a review soon enough after I find a good drama to watch! Feel free to drop a recommendation as well :)

Second, I just want to give an update about my life. This evening, I've been reading my older blog post, specially on this topic Today Only and Finding Closure posted on February & January 2019 respectively. I remember myself struggling to find the right closure, even there were times I hope things would change. But thankfully, I think, I finally found the answer, which in the end I am sure, it's the right way, the path God wants me to take, to let me go through that period till I know what truly matters in the end.

I did meet someone who can see my previous life (not sure whether you'd believe it), yet she said, actually there was a red string between me and that person before - the one I used to write in my post before. She said, we were indeed a couple in my previous life, yet, in this lifetime, maybe we are only fated for a short period of time. And according to her, it was all because I am not making real effort to make things work and even though I did, it's only up to the point where he didn't see it the same way. Admittedly, I am afraid of getting hurt which people would see I didn't do any effort, but it takes a huge courage to really initiate a conversation with him. I know it was a baby steps but he saw it as if my response is just whatever. What hurt most is that early this year, he met another girl who's his previous previous life's wife and she's very aggressive, and they are fated in this lifetime to be together. 

To be honest, when I heard about this, it feels very hurtful, as if I didn't do anything to make things work. It was like all of it is because of my fault. One of the reasons why it hurts is because he said to me before that he would never consider to do a long distance relationship, yet he enters into a long distance relationship with his now girlfriend, while also posting about how he never thought of doing long distance until he met her, who is worth all the effort and all the wait. Bullshit.

Then, I realize, things are not like that. Relationship needs two person to come together. Fated or not, you still need to make effort to make things work and it should never been a one-sided effort, because a real feeling would never make you confused in the beginning. All would be clear and you do not have to question what you mean to him.

And that's when I realized, we are not fated in this lifetime indeed - not that we are fated but the fate is short. That just doesn't fit with what I believe. 

I believe if we are truly fated, things should flow effortless, no more confusing stage where I would question what I mean to him, his intention would be very clear that he is interested right from the beginning and I believe it should really be like that. I deserve a love that is sure of me from the beginning, right? And that's my final answer. 

Cheers.

Happy 27th Bday

Happy Birthday to me! 

It was a big deal to me to finally accepting being 27 years old today. It is not because I cannot accept the fact of being one year older, but for you who have read my post before, I believe you have known why it was hard for me; because I get older but I am still far from my ideals. 

Maybe it was me who's too hard on myself, setting such standard which is a bit too far. When time finally comes, I finally come to terms with my life right now. I learn how to be grateful for the blessings I received every single day - the corporate job I do every day, blessed with my kind and very attentive supervisor, family who loves me much more than I imagine, best friends around who would stay with me no matter what and of course another blessings with my side jobs and lavieportrait. Saying thank you brings much positivity in our life. 

I tried to look at the bright side instead of complaining about what I do not have. By doing that, I try to accept the reality and be grateful about it. It doesn't mean I give up on what I believe or dream about, but I know, I am on my way to be there - doesn't matter how long it will take, as long as I'm consistent and persistent, I'll be there one day. 

I hope another year would even be better - to stay healthy, happy and full of joy. 

I wish to be able to let go of things I couldn't control, accept what I can do and what I cannot do, being able to learn something new no matter how old I get. I wish as time goes by, I would have another chance to improve my skills in whatever I do. 

I also wish to be able to support my family, specially my parents, to give back to society and grow as a person. To be able to travel to a new place, to learn about new culture and to see the world from new perspective. Travelling would give me much to learn from, to be an independent woman who knows what she wants in life. 

I also wish to be able to find my half rib, hopefully in the right time with the right person as well. Even though it may take some time, I wish I can be patient enough to wait. They said, "Wise Woman Waits", and so I hope I am able to be a wiser person - not comparing to someone else, but I wish to be able to become a better version of myself. 

In the end, I wish this year would be long enough for me to explore myself and the world. I wish to be able to forgive quickly, smile often, laugh widely and enjoy life and its present. 

Happy Birthday Lishea, you are amazing just the way you are. 

You're worth the wait. 

Cheers. 

Growing Old Another Year and Quarter Life Crisis

I don't know when it started, but it always happens every year when time come to the month of July - there is an exciting yet terrifying feeling. Another year to be grateful, for being healthy and entering another phase of life - an adulthood yet it's kinda scary because even though I am gonna be 27 years old, there are many things I haven't figured out yet.

To be honest, it's not about the feeling of getting older that scares me most, but the fact that I still feel like a teenager who just finished uni and figuring out life. It feels only few years back when I finished my university and started working in real life. But it has been 7 years since I graduated - yet I still don't know whether I go on the right path. I still feel like there are many things I haven't achieved yet, much or less many things I don't know as well. If time could turn back, I wished school could teach us how to be a proper adult, how to stand up in the real world, how to handle with real life instead of all theoretical stuffs.

When I was in my university year, I used to make plan about my life, like by 30 I should have achieved A, B, C, D, E and etc, should already know about this stuff or that stuff, should be a charming grown up who knows where she wants to go, should have worked on what set my soul on fire and what I am passionate about. But then, the reality kicks in. 

I realized, when I am here, soon to be a 27 years old woman, I'm still figuring out life - still working on 9am to 6pm corporate job, haven't even achieved anything yet - even though I managed to get a title by 25 years old. I may not a charming woman yet like Im Soo Jung in Search:WWW and still considering much on what I should focus on my career. 

I know, I may not be where I want to be yet, but for sure, I am on the way to where I want to be. By these, reality teaches me to let go of a certain standard and accept what has happened to me and be grateful about it. Although the road may not be always easy, but I am still hanging in there. At this point, I realize that life may not always go as I want and I learn to let go of that control, let life do its best for me, as long as I work hard, have faith and believe that it's gonna come true.

I learn how to live in the present without worrying too much about the future. My best friend said to me, that I need to love and understand myself, instead of being the harshest critic on oneself. I need to put down that "should" in everything I want to achieve. There is no such timeline in life. Each and everyone of us has different timing and that cannot be forced upon. 

Everyone's journey is different and I ought to let go of that control. The more I try to control something, the more the world won't allow it to happen to me. So I just need to stay back, relax a bit, stop overthinking and start having faith - letting God do what He wants to do with my life, that includes finding the right person as well.

Additionally, I was reminded of years back, how amazing it was to hang out late at night, how cool it is to get drunk and come home late. Yet, these days, those things do not even amaze me. It's true about getting older - in the end I learn how to be comfortable with my own self. There is no necessity to go out Friday night after work when I feel tired - so going home early is a better choice without the need to be cool to stay out like those teenagers.

Getting older let me think a lot of things, like being serious about where I wanna go; what I want in life and to seriously taking responsibilities of my life. And, somehow the way I thought about things also change - it feels like I am growing as a person; as a real adult. At this age, I want to have a stable career, stable job or even side job that pays well, a stable relationship, and also to build my own family. I guess I am here not to play around anymore - as there are goals I need to achieve and seriously thinking about accomplishing those things.

Hopefully the universe will make it work for me as well.

Cheers!

Eric 周興哲 - The Chaos After You 如果雨之後

如果雨之後 淚還不停流

Rúguǒ yǔ zhīhòu lèi hái bù tíng liú

If after the rain, tears still won't stop flowing

如果悲傷後 眼神更執著

rúguǒ bēishāng hòu yanshén gèng zhízhuó

If after the sorrow, my gaze becomes more persistent

那一雙不能牽的手

nà yī shuāng bùnéng qiān de shǒu

That pair of hands which I can't hold

那疼愛已無人簽收

nà téng'ài yǐ wúrén qiānshōu

That affection no longer received by anyone

像片雲 奔走在天空沒盡頭

xiàng piànyún bēnzǒu zài tiānkōng méi jìntóu

Just like the cloud drifting across the sky endlessly

如果雨之後 心還是嫉妒

rúguǒ yǔ zhīhòu xīn háishì jídù

If after the rain, the heart is still jealous

如果悲傷後 我少了溫度

rúguǒ bēishāng hòu wǒ shaole wēndù

If after sorrow, I lose my warmth

不想要誰將你呵護

bùxiang yào shuí jiāng nǐ hēhù

Don't want anyone else to pamper you

可什麼我都留不住

kě shénme wǒ dū liú bù zhù

But I cannot hold on to anything of yours

我們還沒結束 我好不服輸

women hái méi jiéshù wo haobù fúshū

We have not ended, I won't admit defeat

我只想說 我認真地愛過

wǒ zhǐ xiang shuō wǒ rènzhēn dì àiguò

I just want to say, I have loved seriously

兩個相愛的人究竟犯什麼錯

liang gè xiāng'ài de rén jiùjìng fàn shénme cuò

What wrong did two people in love commit

需要愛得如此折磨

xūyào ài dé rúcǐ zhémó

To deserve a love so torturous

我 是深深地愛過

wǒ shì shēn shēn de àiguò

I, have loved deeply

你在我的心中 從沒有離開過

nǐ zài wǒ de xīnzhōng cóng méiyǒu líkāiguò

In my heart, you never have left

如果你要走也帶我走

rúguǒ nǐ yào zǒu yě dài wǒ zǒu

If you want to leave, take me with you

如果雨之後 心還是痛苦

rúguǒ yǔ zhīhòu xīn háishì tòngkǔ

If after the rain, my heart still hurts

如果悲傷後 我少了溫度

rúguǒ bēishāng hòu wǒ shaole wēndù

If after the sorrow, I lose my warmth

我懷念我們的相處

wǒ huáiniàn wǒmen de xiāngchǔ

I miss the times we spent together

還沒把裂縫都彌補

hái méi ba lièfèng dōu míbǔ

Yet to mend the cracks

還沒給你幸福 我怎能服輸

hái méi gěi nǐ xìngfú wǒ zěn néng fúshū

Yet to give you happiness, how can I admit defeat

我只想說 我認真地愛過

wǒ zhǐ xiang shuō wǒ rènzhēn dì àiguò

I just want to say, I have loved seriously

兩個相愛的人究竟犯什麼錯

liang gè xiāng'ài de rén jiùjìng fàn shénme cuò

What wrong did two people in love commit

需要愛得如此折磨

xūyào ài dé rúcǐ zhémó

To deserve a love so torturous

我 是深深地愛過

wǒ shì shēn shēn de àiguò

I, have loved deeply

你在我的心中 從沒有離開過

nǐ zài wǒ de xīnzhōng cóng méiyǒu líkāiguò

In my heart, you never have left

如果你要走也帶我走

rúguǒ nǐ yào zǒu yě dài wǒ zǒu

If you want to leave, take me with you

沒保護好你的我

méi baohù hao nǐ de wǒ

Me who didn't protect you well

有什麼資格奢求

yǒu shé me zīgé shēqiú

What right do I have to wish

再聽一次你愛我

zài tīng yīcì nǐ ài wǒ

To hear you love me once again

你有沒有聽說？

nǐ yǒu méiyǒu tīng shuō?

Have you heard of it?

我已經面帶笑容

Wǒ yǐjīng miàn dài xiàoróng

I've got a smile on my face

成為約定好的我

chéngwéi yuēdìng hao de wǒ

Become the person whom I promised to be

等著你重頭再來過

děngzhe nǐ zhòngtóu zài láiguò

Waiting for you to start all over again with me

誰都沒錯 都認真地愛過

shuí dōu méicuò dōu rènzhēn dì àiguò

Nobody was at fault, we both loved truthfully

在命運面前才懂人有多脆弱

zài mìngyùn miànqián cái dǒng rén yǒu duō cuìruò

In the face of fate, we realize how fragile life can be

阻止不了誰離開我

zǔzhǐ bùliao shuí líkāi wǒ

I cannot stop who's leaving me

我 是深深地愛過

wǒ shì shēn shēn de àiguò

I, have loved deeply

沒有人能取代 你在我的心中

méiyǒu rén néng qudài nǐ zài wǒ de xīnzhōng

Nobody can ever replace you in my heart

你從來沒有離開過 如果你要走也帶我走

nǐ cónglái méiyǒu líkāiguò rúguǒ nǐ yào zǒu yě dài wǒ zǒu

You have never left, if you want to leave, take me with you

Well Intended Love Drama Review

Well Intended Love or famously 奈何BOSS要娶我 also known as How, Boss Wants to Marry Me is a Chinese web romantic comedy starring Xu Kai Cheng as Ling Yizhou and Simona Wang as Xia Lin as the main lead. It is recently added onto Netflix as well, which make me find this interesting story.

It's a fun and lighthearted drama with some kind of conspiracies, making it a bit dramatic. A third-rate actress, Xia Lin, with leukemia becomes entangled with CEO Ling because she needs him for treatment. In order to receive bone marrow transplant sooner and to continue her career as an actress, Xia Lin enters into a secret marriage with Ling Yi Zhou, the CEO of a company. Despite the conspiracies and misunderstandings they encounter, the two find true love.

I think what attract me most is because of the male lead, seriously handsome. Xu Kai Cheng is only 28 years old actor which his web series was a hit and led to increased popularity and recognition for Xu Kai Cheng. Although it is true that it is still far for his acting to get him as A-list actor, but he is quite good ad a newcomer.

He has previously appeared in dramas like Moonshine And Valentine and I'm A Pet At Dali Temple.

Simona Wang doesn't seem to get equal attention, but she creates a likeable personality as the leading lady.

Ian Yi is a member of the group "Spexial" and he plays Chu Yan, the best friend of Ling Yizhou.

At first, I really thought of him being a gay, because he's so good at playing that role. To be honest, I do not really like his character, just a mainstream idol, so many scenes of him I skipped.

Yang Haoming who plays Nan Jintian is hard to like cos of being a villain - beside his lips is too red on the show (okay, maybe I am prejudice because I already like Kai Cheng >.<). Yang Haoming make use of An Ran (played by Sun Jiaqi) as his toy to set every traps between Ling Yizhou and Xia Lin. Sadly, true love always wins.

Huang Qianshuo plays Wen Li, the boss's secretary - I love this second lead couple and also his bromance with Ling Yizhou. What a bad boss, bullying his assistant for being single and doesn't even have anyone who misses him. See, he can get someone as well! LOL

By watching this drama, I learnt something, which is kinda important to our lives. I've always thought that marriage should be based on love. That's indeed true, but love is not the only thing. People could get married to someone due to a situation as well, but in the end, certain things has to be set, like being honest and respect each other - that way, marriage life would even be fine. And if you are lucky enough, love would be another taste in your marriage which will complete your happiness.

Song Joong Ki Files For Divorce From Song Hye Kyo

Song Joong Ki and Song Hye Kyo got married in October 2017 after starring together in the hit drama “Descendants of the Sun”

Song Joong Ki has officially filed for divorce from Song Hye Kyo.

On June 27, Song Joong Ki’s attorney Park Jae Hyun officially announced, “Our law firm filed for divorce on behalf of Song Joong Ki at the Seoul Family Court on June 26. Additionally, we would like to convey Song Joong Ki’s official statement.”

In his statement, Song Joong Ki apologized to his fans and explained that he hoped for an amicable divorce. The actor’s full statement is as follows:

Hello. This is Song Joong Ki.

First, I’d like to apologize for delivering this unfortunate news to the many fans who love and care for me.

I have begun the process of filing for divorce from Song Hye Kyo.
Rather than denouncing one another and arguing over who is to blame, I hope that the divorce process can be wrapped up amicably.

I ask for your understanding in regards to the fact that it is difficult to discuss the details of my personal life, and I will recover from my current wounds and do my utmost as an actor to repay you through great productions in the future.

Thank you.

Following Song Joong Ki’s announcement that he has filed for a divorce, shortly afterwards, Song Hye Kyo’s agency United Artists Agency (UAA) Korea responded to the news on behalf of the actress.

A representative of the agency stated, “We find it unfortunate that we are greeting you with unhappy news. After careful consideration, actress Song Hye Kyo and her husband are taking the first steps toward a divorce.”

“The reason [for the divorce] is differences in personality,” continued the agency, “and because the two were unable to overcome their differences, they were forced to come to this decision. We respectfully ask for your understanding in regards to the fact that we cannot confirm any further details out of respect for the two actors’ personal lives. Additionally, we urge you to refrain from making scandalous posts and speculative comments.”

Such a surprising news this morning. I remember how spectacular it was when the two of them announced their marriage two years back. Yet, with such a classic excuse of "the differences in personality", the two decided to end their marriage. I don't know what's the meaning of marriage for them or everyone elese, but for me, it is such a holy thing, a promise and vow to God that two person is willing to stay and being committed in the relationship, hoping for a long lasting marriage.

These days, it was so easy to get married once you feel all the butterfly feeling, but staying in marriage is difficult. Sometimes such news like this gives me clarity that it's better to be late to get married with the right person rather than rushing to tie a knot but gonna last only for a couple of years. It was really a waste of time - not withstanding that it can turn out to be a mistake to learn and such, but sometimes it's such a pity that it has to end that way. Even though we know, there is no such a perfect person or right person, but rather than someone who can be your companion, who can talk about everything and care of each other. Sometimes, marriage is about to "let" each other, as in give up certain standards or need for the sake of his/her happiness. But how many times are you willing to let the other person "win"? Marriage in the end is all about lifetime and a lifetime is a very long time.

He Ping Fen Shou 和平分手 - Rachel Liang Wen Yin feat. Ricky Xiao Huang Qi (梁文音 feat. 蕭煌奇)

是否有天我們會老去

Shi fou you tian wo men hui lao qu

街頭不期而遇

Jie tou bu qi er yu

If we meet unexpectedly one day in the future

笑著 說愛情是場鬧劇

Xiao zhe shuo ai qing shi chang nao ju

While smiling, we would say "love is a joke"

是否有天悲傷會遠去

Shi fou you tian bei shang hui yuan qu

If one day this sad feeling has faded,

每場淋過的雨 都寫成練習曲

Mei chang lin guo de yu dou xie cheng lian xi qu

Every raindrops becomes a song

*

從開始走到終於

Cong kai shi zou dao zhong yu

Right from the start to the end,

終於無能為力的結局

Zhong yu wu neng wei li de jie ju

The result is outside of our control

在愛之外的差距

Zai ai zhi wai de cha ju

The difference between our love

還是過不去

Hai shi guo bu qu

still cannot go through

為彼此留的餘地 完滿了回憶

Wei bi ci liu de yu di wan man le hui yi

For the sake of our freedom and our memories, 

把承諾都還給你 把祝福都留給你

Be cheng nuo dou hai gei ni ba zhu fu dou liu gei ni

I will give you all of our promises to wish you well

一個人走

Yi ge ren zou

while each of us walk alone by ourself

**

和平分手 愛已別無所求

He ping fen shou ai yi bie wu suo qiu

To break up well, love does not ask for anything

誰都不必太內疚

Shui dou bu bi tai nei jiu

No one should feel wronged

接受無心犯的錯

Jie shou wu xin fan de cuo

Just accept this unintentional misake

也好過費心找理由

Ye hao guo fei xin zhao li you

And find a reason to go through this difficult times

微笑分手 破碎的以後

Wei xiao fen shou po sui de yi hou

Smile as we broke up, even though we have been broken into pieces

會隨著時間自由

Hui sui zhe shi jian zi you

Let the time to heal us

遺憾都已難補救

Yi han dou yi nan bu jiu

Regretfully, everything is hard to mend

夢醒了也許換一個 好朋友

Meng xing le ye xu huan yi ge hao peng you

Maybe after a long dream, we can be best friend

一千兩百五十天歡愉

Yi qian liang bai wu shi tian huan yu

1.250 happy days

學沒記憶的魚

Xue mei ji yi de yu

Learn to forget those days

忘掉 在下個旅程繼續

Wang diao zai xia ge lue cheng ji xu

Forget it and move on

抱歉我不是合適伴侶

Bao qian wo bu shi he shi ban lue

I am sorry, I am not the perfect mate for you

至少最後一刻 別讓你受委屈

Zhi shao zui hou yi ke bie rang ni shou wei qu

At least, in our last day, I don't make you feel wronged. 

Repeat *

Repeat ** x2

Arthdal Chronicles First Impression

In the mythical land of Arth, various tribes vie for power and claim over Arthdal, one of the greatest ancient cities ever built. Arth is a realm home to heroes, where conquest and survival are the motifs of this fantasy world. 

Before kings and nations existed, dominant tribes of mankind (saram) joined together to form a union, giving rise to civilization and creating Arthdal (Aseudal) which would become the cornerstone of human advancement and technology. In the hopes to extend the alliance to the Neanthals (a superior race gifted with supernatural-like abilities),  Sanung Niruha (Kim Eui Sung) leader of the Saenyeok tribe and Mihol (Jo Sung-Ha) leader of the Hae tribe, fail to persuade Raknruv, leader of the Neanthals who wants nothing to do with human ambition, affirming his position with his tribe's belief in maintaining a harmonious relationship with nature. 

Disgruntled but not anguished at the loss of a greater race joining forces with them, Sanung devises a plan to rid the earth of the Neanthals as they now pose as a threat. Needing the fertile land of the Neanthals for the purpose of cultivation, Sanung delivers Asa Hon (Choo Ja Hyun) a translator between the two tribes as a necessary sacrifice, sending her off with gifts laced with a poisonous illness that will annihilate the Neanthals. Little does anyone know however, that Tagon, a young boy and Sanung's own son is the mastermind behind the plot on the Neanthals, aiding his father and winning the favour of warriors and tribesmen. Appointed as a war leader for his strategic planning, Tagon assembles his forces to hunt down any remaining Neanthals.

Appalled by the genocide she played a hand in, Asa Hon escapes with Ragazeu (Yoo Teo) a surviving Neantthal. The two fall in love and she gives brith to Igutu children (the name given to interracial children between a human and a Neanthal) born on the day an azure comet travels across the sky. 

As the hunt to eradicate Neanthals takes the course of several years, neither parent or child is safe and Ragazeu gives his life protecting them. Now a widow and separated from her oldest child, Asa Hon flees to Iark with her youngest, Eunseoum, to a place where the gods of Arth can't exercise their power. Tagon however, finds the Igutu child and spares its life.

After ten long years of searching for a way down the Black Cliff and with a sickly body, Asa Hon crosses the Sea of Tears, a volcanic and deadly no-man's land in order to bring Eunseoum to Iark. Upon arriving she dies with delirium, believing that her son is Armun incarnated, the founding god of Arthdal. 

Years have past, and Eunseoum (Song Joong Ki) becomes an alienated member of the Wahan tribe. His only confidant and friend is Tanya (Kim Ji Won) born on the same day as the azure comet and destined to become the Mother of her tribespeople. 

Their innocent world however, becomes threatened when Tagon (Jang Dong Gun) and his forces arrive in Iark, laying claim on the land and taking the Wahan people as slave hostages. 

Vowing to exact revenge, Eunseoum journeys to Arthdal, possibly fulfilling a prophecy and becoming Tagon's greatest foe, more dangerous than Tagon's own father who detests him. 

The idea that Eunseoum is potentially a malevolent god incarnated on earth becomes basis for a lot of theories but there's facts presented in the drama that confuse the audience as to the existence of Armun or who he even is. As an Igutu, Eunseoum is considered a cursed being that the gods frown upon, which is why Asa Hon travels the perilous journey to Iark, in order to avoid the wrath of the Arth gods. 

Yet, it's also clear that he is most definitely the hero of this tale. Kanmoreu, the legendary horse of Armun, finds Eunseoum and lets him become his rider and that could mean one of two things. Eunseoum is in fact Armun incarnated, or a demigod of sorts. If he is Armun, then the changes that will happen to the innocent and naive Eunseoum will be drastic and fatal. His mixed blood is also a fascinating aspect to the story. The distinctive features of an Igutu being is its blood which runs purple, similar to how Neanthals have blue blood (literally purple and blue blood; they bleed different blood than humans). Purple eyes, lips, and claws that appear as a defensive instinct are features Eunseoum possesses. 

Thinking about this mythical character critically, Igutus and Neanthals seem extremely similar to gumihos and how they're conceived in Gu Family Book. My mind just kept going back to Choi Jin-Hyuk's character since I could see the similarities between him and Ragazeu. Another interesting aspect related to the mythology of Arth is that mankind is incapable of dreaming. Only those strongly connected spiritually to nature or the gods have the power to dream, and that's an ability Eunseoum has, which alienates him further. His birth is also considered a bad omen, since prophecy declares that one born on the same day as the azure comet will bring calamity and destruction.

Tagon on the other hand, I find a little more dissatisfying as a character if I'm being entirely honest. Since the first episode contains a time jump and goes back and forth slightly between the present and the past, we get a blurred idea of who Tagon truly is. Since we don't see Tagon's progression in becoming this cunning leader and warrior, we have to rely on the little the Writers have mapped out for us to follow. Young Tagon had glimpses of the things we're to assume the older version has, despite how underwhelming and anti-climatic Tagon seems to be in the present. 

The younger version was more chilling in the sense that he could go from being philosophical, and an admirer of nature to this boy who could quite easily plan and execute an entire genocide. I also wish we could see sparks to a little madness in him, to imply how power hungry he really is. Maybe the thirst for god-like power is yet to come but I hope Tagon becomes a bad guy we can admire or if the Writers can erase the definitive lines between good and evil, to simply give us an opportunistic man who knows he's smarter and better than the rest of them. He's definitely not spiteful as a character but he's also been somewhat boring during the first 4 episodes. And I can only recall one instance when the older Tagon actually gave me moment to pause and reassess the situation.

The men of the series aside, the really interesting characters happen to be the drama's women! Tanya and Taealha (Kim Ok Bin) are respectively very different women with position and power. Taealha is a schemer and wants to aid and own the man who'll claim the most amount of power in Arth, at her side or even in the palm of her hand. 

She's a full fledged schemer and daughter of Mihol, knowing privilege and what it means to play political games, choosing sides wisely. 

Tanya on the other hand, comes from humble beginnings but has been told her entire life that she'll be a leader one day and has to carry a heavy burden determined by destiny. Their portrayals are interesting and the actresses have nailed their characters, breathing life to women rarely found in Sageuks. I personally want to see more of Taealha, because her confrontations and conversations with Tagon are tense and truly represent the power struggles occurring in Arth. 

Now that we have plot and characters out of the way, we can finally move onto the technicalities of the show! As I watched this, I couldn't help but draw comparisons to Game of Thrones, and you could basically photoshop Tagon onto Jon Snow and vice versa but even the entire steady build-up of a storyline involving prophecy and destiny are quite similar. The ambitions this series has however, is quite different since it still feels like a Sageuk but more heavily centred on myth and tribal culture...we're extremely accustomed to Joseon dynasty dramas at this point, eh? 

It's definitely a fusion series, with references and influences drawn from a broader global context. Looking closely, the residence of Arthdal dress similarly to Sumerians and their devotion to their gods is also a homogeneity (if I had to narrow it down to an ancient civilization the Writers are drawing upon). The advances of Arthdal and it being a cultural hub with tribe leaders ravenous for domination seems like they're going for a Babylon feel or Tower of Babel impression, where they'll construct the greatest towers and landmarks, etc. 

There are however, anachronistic incidences that went over the Writers' heads. The attention to detail in regards to the mythology is commendable, but having scenes where tribe leaders form a union in order to construct a kingdom makes no sense if humankind has no notion of what a nation even is or how to conceptualize a kingdom. I also think there may be too much time spent on rituals, and I know it's an important part of tribal culture here but not necessarily central for plot progression. As a three part series, consisting of six episodes per part, there's a lot to cover and little time do so even with each episode clocking in at 80 mins. That being said, they need to move things along in order to thoroughly reveal the lore they've so intricately set in place since at this point, it's still highly convoluted.

I do see where they're coming from because the Asa tribe (White Mountain Tribe) are considered holier in the sense that they're spiritually connected to the gods. Considering that this is the tribe of Asa Hon and may play a major part into Tanya's spiritual abilities in the future, and has connections to the Wahan people, the Writers might be showing more detailed rituals to act as a plot device or creating a framework with deeper meaning. 

My only real qualm with this series is that I wish it had more drama or theatrics, especially in regards to revelations and episode endings. There's no sense of finality or suspenseful buildup which falls short on the entertaining scale. Sageuk is a genre that expertly knows how to form tension and dramatic, climatic endings (I'm thinking along the lines of Six Flying Dragons) but this series just ends on a flat note each time, simply doing its bit and then ending abruptly. I know the aim here is to go raw or go home, but a bit of theatrics and suspense could really amp up the viewer's feelings and interest. Going sleeker and darker would have rocked my world and wouldn't have me on the fence about this, but I can see where this might have been the stylistic choice the drama chose to convey with a specific tone that emotes certain feelings for viewers.

All things considered, Arthdal Chronicles is unlike anything Korean Dramas could have ever imagined to become, with mythical complexities and detailed characters. The intricacies are exhaustive at times but I watch on out of curiosity, even if certain story aspects are easy to predict outside of the mythological. I don't know where the show is headed or what to expect in the long run, and that may be a fun ride, although an uneasy one.